posted
Well ya he could simply say to drop off her children with her ex-husband as he doesn't wanna care about them and what for renovating the place?? It's just fine like that.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers:
But this is the part that bothered me in what she said:
quote: Children are happy and he treats them very well, perhaps too well because he says yes to things i would say no too, but, I have to learn to adjust the house rules to his rules as well as mine.
It's already setting up to be difficult as she has always said yes to some things and he is coming in and NOW saying no, even he hasn't moved in as the new husband/step father. He sounds like he might be trying to 'win them over' by saying yes and this is going to contradict her as their mother and threaten her role as the major caregiver for most of their lives so far. I would have the same issues if a grandparent did this, as it confuses the child and puts in jeopardy the role of the parent to the child.
You got it backwards smucks, he says yes where i would normally say no, he is easier on them than i am. My youngest asked if we could go do something and i was just opening my mouth to say no not today and he automatically answered sure, go get ready. My instinct was to say hey, wait a minute but i stopped in realizing that this is now his home too and he is part of the family and very well should be making some of the decisions not just me so, I let him have that. He isnt trying to take over by any means, he usually asks me what i want or asks what the children wants, its just small things that he just automatically answers to the children when they ask can we or can i, nothing big. Perhaps I am too strict with them.
Momen never involved himself with my children, only asked about them if one was sick. Never bothered himself about the house either, as he saw it, i had my life here and he had his there and until we were living together that is how it was. My husband now as you can see is completely involved, always asking of the kids if he isnt here, sending them love and missing them now, they got along really well. My older 2 are nearly 16 and 18, the son is the oldest and he was too busy with gf to hang out with us much but he thinks its all cool, doesnt live with me so that isnt an issue. 16 yr old thinks highly, she says he is so cool and mom smiles some so its good, sends him hi and miss you's, its rather cute. Her boyfriend stayed with us as well, i think he and husband will soon be inseperable, the boy even hugged him at airport. Things will settle nicely once i settle into the whole thing.
Posts: 2410 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
Oh come on, DG, don't let the teacher hang out. You are off duty right now so enjoy it!! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Makbeta: Oh... Really? So quickly?!
You have some ES homework,Makbeta Guess who got married again...???Yesss,that one,the one that was soooo in lurve that "could not even breath" without the 2nd former Egy hubby!
...of the infamous almost 40 paged thread "Well,here i go...." Posts: 3833 | From: here,there,everywhere | Registered: Nov 2007
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posted
Well, I'm simply flabbergasted when I think about the speed of events - though I wish them all the best. (think about our Tina for a change - how patient she is!).
Posts: 2807 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers:
But this is the part that bothered me in what she said:
quote: Children are happy and he treats them very well, perhaps too well because he says yes to things i would say no too, but, I have to learn to adjust the house rules to his rules as well as mine.
It's already setting up to be difficult as she has always said yes to some things and he is coming in and NOW saying no, even he hasn't moved in as the new husband/step father. He sounds like he might be trying to 'win them over' by saying yes and this is going to contradict her as their mother and threaten her role as the major caregiver for most of their lives so far. I would have the same issues if a grandparent did this, as it confuses the child and puts in jeopardy the role of the parent to the child.
You got it backwards smucks, he says yes where i would normally say no, he is easier on them than i am. My youngest asked if we could go do something and i was just opening my mouth to say no not today and he automatically answered sure, go get ready. My instinct was to say hey, wait a minute but i stopped in realizing that this is now his home too and he is part of the family and very well should be making some of the decisions not just me so, I let him have that. He isnt trying to take over by any means, he usually asks me what i want or asks what the children wants, its just small things that he just automatically answers to the children when they ask can we or can i, nothing big. Perhaps I am too strict with them.
Momen never involved himself with my children, only asked about them if one was sick. Never bothered himself about the house either, as he saw it, i had my life here and he had his there and until we were living together that is how it was. My husband now as you can see is completely involved, always asking of the kids if he isnt here, sending them love and missing them now, they got along really well. My older 2 are nearly 16 and 18, the son is the oldest and he was too busy with gf to hang out with us much but he thinks its all cool, doesnt live with me so that isnt an issue. 16 yr old thinks highly, she says he is so cool and mom smiles some so its good, sends him hi and miss you's, its rather cute. Her boyfriend stayed with us as well, i think he and husband will soon be inseperable, the boy even hugged him at airport. Things will settle nicely once i settle into the whole thing.
Ok, he said yes where you would have said no, the divide is still there, the problems will still be there when he wants to say no. I'm not saying he probably isn't a good guy, he might be fabulous with your children (one has to hope at this point). I'm simply saying that you should really do some research as far as allowing a stepfather to enter your home and start calling even SOME of the shots as they relate to your kids. If you do some research on it, you may be really surprised at how much it is encouraged that you NOT do that. He can disagree and have an opinion, but it should be behind closed doors, and it should be YOU bringing the message to the kids of what changes/yes's or no's are happening.
You might be thankful in the long run for that. Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: This is the last thing I'm going to say and then I'm done. Obviously you have chosen to marry in 2 days, and you aren't likely the sort of girl to change your mind last minute...that's just so not you. The way you are marrying, for financial reasons, is the way many women in this part of the world marry. They do it because THEY HAVE TO...mostly. I'm sure if they had their way, they would want to marry for love, for tenderness and affection. Many women in America suffered and fought for the freedoms we have in the states now as women and you are standing on their shoulders. They must be turning over in their graves that you choose (still) to marry in such a way when YOU DON'T HAVE TO. Then again, freedoms do mean that you are 'free' to choose whatever lifestyle you want...even if it does affect your children (no matter what you try to rationalize). It's just too bad you don't come and speak to some women who were married in loveless marriages who didn't have many other options and look into their eyes. You might think differently.
Smucks, stooooooooooop. This Mystic leech is just sucking the goodness and the energy out of you. There's so many other posters who benefit from your replies, please stop feeding her disgusting need for negative attention.
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
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quote:Originally posted by unsure: U stated "Her boyfriend stayed with us as well" does he live with u also?
No, her boyfriend doesnt live with us as well, however does spend alot of time here with us.
Posts: 2410 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Mar 2005
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quote:Originally posted by desertgirl: Sorry, we have already reached page 4 but I feel uncomfortable each time I see the title
* Did you met your Egyptian...
It should be: Did you meet your.... or Have you met your Egyptian husband online?
ok, feeling better now...
Or "how many of your Egyptian husbands have you met online ?"
LOL We should start a new topic about western women involved with more than one egyptian guy whether online or offline.
Posts: 211 | From: alexandria | Registered: May 2008
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^^^ at the same time or EVER? I have heard of some Western women getting involved with one Egy man and if it didn't work out trying out 'another'. ? As if Egyptian men are novelties. Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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Well, Smuckers, it is because they are offering theirselves!!! You only have to get an account on whatever kind of website where arabs hang around, and they offer themselves by hundreds!!! "Take me, take me!!!" It doesn't matter how you look, it doesn't matter you're rich or poor, it doesn't matter you're old, without any demands they are accepting western women as a 'friend'. You know, I have a son, in that age.Do you think he should be interested in becoming friends with women from another country in the age of his mother???? Do you think he would be interested in searching for a partner out from a far away country??? Nooooooooo, he has all the possibilities to find a girlfriend nearby, he shouldn't even think about it!!!
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
Lots of people offer themselves in all sorts of ways, Western women offer themselves to Western men and vice versa. The offering isn't so much the concern, but the idea of being dead set on a particular sort of nationality for a man IS. If one likes the culture, ok, but IMO if I ever got burned by my own husband I wouldn't necessarily be willing to walk down the same plank again. But that's just me~ Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: but IMO if I ever got burned by my own husband I wouldn't necessarily be willing to walk down the same plank again.
But there are actually quite a few women who exactly do that (we have some on the forum here).
I am with you on this, once it's over it's over. I had my experience my fair share with an Egyptian man and after that no more. I decided for a Western guy because they are just easier to understand - and it worked out so far (and hopefully forever).
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Hi TL, by offering I meant that we all sort of offer ourselves to the opposite sex no matter what the nationality.
I think you may find understanding a Western man easier because you are Western yourself. Even if your nationalities are a bit differnet, in the end there are going to be many more similiarities than with the Egyptian man you dated. Correct me if I'm wrong~
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
Yup that's what I meant. You know to be in love with a man from a different culture might be tempting for many but it's different to live with on a daily base. These cross-cultural relationships take extra hard work.
You know when I broke it with my Egyptian I could not see myself to get involved with another one - too many memories with the first one.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
You are so right IMO, as if marriage (or any relationship) isn't difficult enough already, add into the mix the different cultures and you DO have to work extra hard. I used to think that dealing with American men was so hard almost 'not worth it'. HUMPH...after 3 years of being married to an Egyptian man I didn't know how good I had it. Not to trash on my own husband, he's a terrific guy (IMO) but the cultural differences are REALLY DIFFICULT even when you are both (reasonably) easy to get along with. I often find myself thinking, 'this would SO not be an issue with an American/Western man'...especially the sulking. What is the deal with sulking Egyptian men? Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
Oh yes I remember that. It's because of their their huge pride and strong male ego.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: You are so right IMO, as if marriage (or any relationship) isn't difficult enough already, add into the mix the different cultures and you DO have to work extra hard. I used to think that dealing with American men was so hard almost 'not worth it'. HUMPH...after 3 years of being married to an Egyptian man I didn't know how good I had it. Not to trash on my own husband, he's a terrific guy (IMO) but the cultural differences are REALLY DIFFICULT even when you are both (reasonably) easy to get along with. I often find myself thinking, 'this would SO not be an issue with an American/Western man'...especially the sulking. What is the deal with sulking Egyptian men?
Most of them are spoiled babies you have to ignore the sulking and after a while it's as if nothing happened. Unless you want an argument that goes: what's wrong? nothing...No really what's wrong)...nothing really... but sulk sulk sulk hehe! I observe some of my friends doing it, hilarious!
Fortunately some have a sense of humor when there's an argument, I prefer that! Posts: 919 | Registered: Aug 2007
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I get either or. I did the 'what's wrong' for a while with the sulking, and finally one day I said: 'What's wrong?', his reply, 'nothing', my reply, 'ok, I know something is wrong but I don't have the energy or time to stand here and keep asking, so why don't we just ACT like I've already asked you 20 times and you go ahead and tell me'...otherwise I don't even bother anymore.
I do love the sense of humor, it's quite annoying when I'm trying to be angry and he makes me laugh and say, 'stop trying to make a joke (chuckle) I really am mad about this (smile-chuckle)'. Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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OMG they all do it. That is great cos i was worried i had just found a real spoilt mummys boy ha ha.
Yorkie you saw his sulking when you came round. He was a nightmare for it that day cos he was tired.
Smuckers yes i did the whole "whats wrong baby, please tell me" for about 2 days before i said "ok so i am in trouble, what did i do this time. Tell me or i am going into another room". he would soon come round.
Also right on the humor. When i got mad about something he would stick his tounge out in a cheeky way, call me inte magnona or just grin at me till i laughed. So annoying that i cant stay mad for long.
Posts: 1710 | From: we come in peace | Registered: Mar 2008
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It has taken me two years to perfect my response to sulksville.
It used to really bother me so much, I would think about it constantly, I would text or call if I was being ignored because a major traumatic event had taken place (like I had not put the bin out! or something equally trivial), i really couldn't get on with my day when he was being a moody bottom, and this almost always resulted in big arguments.
However now i just try to let him get on with it, I dont get frustrated or angry, I dont spend more than about 5 mins wondering whats wrong now, and yes I use humour (or whistling ) to get through it. My sulker is a good person inside, so when I leave him to his sulkiness he usually comes out of it sooner or later. I think Egyptian men are just like dinosaurs, when something happens the reactions take a while to register, could be a few hours or a day, but just let them chew it over until they come round... then smile sweetly as if it never happened, or at least you never noticed learnt that from my egyptian women friends.
yep mine also tries to win me round with humour, this can make me really cross, but it always works...dammit!!!!
Posts: 918 | From: Earth | Registered: Jan 2008
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posted
If its any consolation older Egyptian men don't sulk very much. Hardly at all infact. They do grow up eventually Sadly I think some of you have a long way to go yet Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
just back from sharm, why do all egy men i get introduced to by my friends seem such cold fish? it's like they don't know how to smile, they're sooo serious? really i have heard so many times how egyptian people are so warm and friendly, however i have yet to meet one. maybe it's me? who knows, by the way my friends are female egyptians, lord they musn't feel i'm worth flirting with.lol. the single one's that is do they have a mid life crisis at 30 in egypt? am not bashing them i just don't get it Posts: 3945 | From: ' Res Contr ' Amor non es guirens, lai on sos poders s'atura | Registered: Dec 2007
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quote:Originally posted by manx: just back from sharm, why do all egy men i get introduced to by my friends seem such cold fish? it's like they don't know how to smile, they're sooo serious? really i have heard so many times how egyptian people are so warm and friendly, however i have yet to meet one. maybe it's me? who knows, by the way my friends are female egyptians, lord they musn't feel i'm worth flirting with.lol. the single one's that is do they have a mid life crisis at 30 in egypt? am not bashing them i just don't get it
It must obviously be you!!! Sorry,but even if they were only flirting,and those who are not,i've yet to find one that i think is cold fish. Posts: 3833 | From: here,there,everywhere | Registered: Nov 2007
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posted
EXCUSE ME, but did Mystic-rentabride just sell herself for some laminate and vinyl flooring??
Please woman we don't brag about that, come back when you have some hard wood and tile flooring then maybe we can talk. All those times in Egypt and you didn't learn the art of the bargain?
I vowed I would not respond but you seem to be under the illusion/delusion/whatever that we want to hear about and/or are jealous of your life? No on both counts. If you are so happy with your new found position(wife for hire) then go live it and stop trying to tempt us with your synthetic floorings.
Really it's very depressing so khalas just go.
Posts: 1879 | From: Going to Graceland | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Alchemist Cake Girl: EXCUSE ME, but did Mystic-rentabride just sell herself for some laminate and vinyl flooring??
Please woman we don't brag about that, come back when you have some hard wood and tile flooring then maybe we can talk. All those times in Egypt and you didn't learn the art of the bargain?
I vowed I would not respond but you seem to be under the illusion/delusion/whatever that we want to hear about and/or are jealous of your life? No on both counts. If you are so happy with your new found position(wife for hire) then go live it and stop trying to tempt us with your synthetic floorings.
quote:Originally posted by manx: just back from sharm, why do all egy men i get introduced to by my friends seem such cold fish? it's like they don't know how to smile, they're sooo serious? really i have heard so many times how egyptian people are so warm and friendly, however i have yet to meet one. maybe it's me? who knows, by the way my friends are female egyptians, lord they musn't feel i'm worth flirting with.lol. the single one's that is do they have a mid life crisis at 30 in egypt? am not bashing them i just don't get it
Intimidated or something. Must be the big boobs. lol
Posts: 6335 | From: Straight to my heart. | Registered: Sep 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Alchemist Cake Girl: EXCUSE ME, but did Mystic-rentabride just sell herself for some laminate and vinyl flooring??
Please woman we don't brag about that, come back when you have some hard wood and tile flooring then maybe we can talk. All those times in Egypt and you didn't learn the art of the bargain?
I vowed I would not respond but you seem to be under the illusion/delusion/whatever that we want to hear about and/or are jealous of your life? No on both counts. If you are so happy with your new found position(wife for hire) then go live it and stop trying to tempt us with your synthetic floorings.
Really it's very depressing so khalas just go.
I wasnt bragging in the first place, and the choice of what went in was mine, he would have happily paid for the more expensive things but i dont have a need for more expensive. i do not have the need for hardwood floors and i dont like tile. I am not so stuck up and particular that I have to have the top of the line of everything, i want simpler things, why pay so much for something when other things that are far cheaper do just as nicely. I do not think i have come across more stuck up people as i have here, putting people down because of what work they do and suggesting that vinyl flooring and laminate is not good enough, seems nothing is good enough for you people around here, well, i wont generalize everyone here as there are several good people, but it seems alot need to learn that top of the line brand name things are not everything in this world. How in the world can people be so materialistic.
Posts: 2410 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
crap just go all the way out and get marble floors!!! hard wood is cheap nowa days!!! i happen to like vinyl flooring its cheap and lasts a long time in the bathroom!! i a cheap person i would rather spend 10$ on a shirt and wear it for many years then buy a new 50$ ecvery week!!! i like sweat pants hell they are what 12$ a pair!!! i figure if people dont like lookin at me fuckem!!! dont look at me dont talk to me dont bother with me!! i am who i am and noone or nothin will ever change me!!!
-------------------- your ass is so tight when you fart only a dog can hear it.when you queef only a cat can hear that one. Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
We have hardwood floors in the appartment we've rented and I don't like it. It's not comfy for the feet and cold in winter. One day we'll have our house and i want carpet in all bedrooms at least - which is very common in the US.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
ya we have carpets in all rooms except the kitchen and bathroom and basement!!! i hate it sometimes cas when u spill somethin on it always seems to be so hard to clean!! i have a carpect steamer but after time they wear down!!! i love cement floors like in mexico. also there are heated floors i watch a home decor show in hdtv all the time they seem to be nice floors!!!
-------------------- your ass is so tight when you fart only a dog can hear it.when you queef only a cat can hear that one. Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
No carpets for us... we are allergic to dust and house dust mite. When we lived in our apartment, I had all carpets removed and had laminate placed in the bedrooms. I think this is very hygienic but indeed, cold to the feet. In our house we have parquetry everywhere. I think it is terrible expensive but I like it a lot.
TL, what do you mean with 'hardwood floors'? Is it a synonym for 'parquetry'??
BTW, no, I did not meet my Egyptian husband/wife online. (see, I stay on topic ))
Posts: 2932 | From: Just now and then | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by mysticheart: How in the world can people be so materialistic.
says the woman who just married a man she doesnt love so she could get house repairs?? Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by desertgirl: No carpets for us... we are allergic to dust and house dust mite. When we lived in our apartment, I had all carpets removed and had laminate placed in the bedrooms. I think this is very hygienic but indeed, cold to the feet. In our house we have parquetry everywhere. I think it is terrible expensive but I like it a lot.
TL, what do you mean with 'hardwood floors'? Is it a synonym for 'parquetry'??
BTW, no, I did not meet my Egyptian husband/wife online. (see, I stay on topic ))
Parquet is composed from several layers, hardwood floors are beams, but, to make it easy, also can have the name parquet. BTW, also to stay on topic, I met my husband in the last century, internet didn't exist at that time. We didn't have mobile phones, no fax, we communicated in person. Isn't THAT weird???? Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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vader thankyou for your comment, my hero! sash, maybe cold fish was the wrong adjective, perhaps i should have said reserved? i don't believe it was "me", they were all perfect gentlemen in fact, just not what i was expecting when i went away. of course i got the usual catcalls and whistles, but they were mostly from the younger generation . i am just surprised is all.
Posts: 3945 | From: ' Res Contr ' Amor non es guirens, lai on sos poders s'atura | Registered: Dec 2007
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quote:Originally posted by mysticheart: I wasnt bragging in the first place, and the choice of what went in was mine, he would have happily paid for the more expensive things but i dont have a need for more expensive. i do not have the need for hardwood floors and i dont like tile. I am not so stuck up and particular that I have to have the top of the line of everything, i want simpler things, why pay so much for something when other things that are far cheaper do just as nicely. I do not think i have come across more stuck up people as i have here, putting people down because of what work they do and suggesting that vinyl flooring and laminate is not good enough, seems nothing is good enough for you people around here, well, i wont generalize everyone here as there are several good people, but it seems alot need to learn that top of the line brand name things are not everything in this world. How in the world can people be so materialistic.
I've noticed so far that unfortunately the cheap(est( is not necessarily so good. As a student you bought what you could afford - cheap - and it often broke before long! Like plates, glasses, furniture etc.
You buy quality and that lasts maybe a lifetime. It is perhaps not so important talking about smaller things as maybe you want to change them at some point when you get bored with them.
We're now choosing everything to our home and the most important thing is that we like them and that everything is absolutely of good quality and I see it costs a bit more. But you might spend more money in the end if you buy cheap and poor quality. Expensive labels are expensive for a reason (usually) : they last. It's not being materialistic.
Posts: 758 | From: Finland | Registered: Jun 2006
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