posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by Mrs Hassan:

I am assuming that your living in Egypt and not anywhere else? that anthrops does not work?

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Posts: 2803 | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by Momma_Dukez:

quote:

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Originally posted by anthropos:
my husband thinks constantly about money, how to make it, how to save it, how to make more...
when he speaks to his family all they talk about is "kam.....kam...."...the price of stuff and how to organize some projects.
His first thoughts always turns to money. friend had an accident at work and his first reaction was "he will get compensation!" not is he doing OK?
I am really fed up with this kind of thinking, especially because he is actually quite poor nonetheless (hehe). But I feel he is so materialistic. All he is interested in is the new iphone, gold, diamonds, if something is worth something. Doesn't matter what, just as long as he can sell it.
Is this an Egyptian trend? Or just my husband?

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No, its an Egyptian trend that I myself find very disgusting. My ex was like that...his father used to tell him all the time, 'you hold the dollar so close to your eyes that you cant see anything else around you!'

they live, breathe and dream money.
If money had long hair and a kuss, they'd marry it.

My ex husbands uncle is married to a Morrocan woman my age and she said that all Egyptians care about is money. they will make themselves live like total sh*t just to save money.

but, in the long run, it ends up biting them in the ass.

ive been around these people since my early teens and seen lots of it. they hurt people for money. they are misers too. then when the day comes when they have made thei green, they have gone and pissed off so many people that they are rich yes, but very ALONE.

I have seen so many egyptians marry older western women, the women who help them make all this money, then years later she finds that he went and got himself an egyptian wife and kids back home...all obtained during his marriage to HER.

my ex's uncle Alaa did it. He married this really heavy older woman when he was a dishwasher and she was a waitress.
she helped him open a diner. they had 2 kids. 5 years ago, Alaa suckered my ex out of $30,000 and so he went and whipped out photos of Alaa's new egyptian wife and baby to her as revenge.

When I worked in Alaa's diner as a teen, there was this chef named Nabil. (we all called him billy).
He was married to a waitress named Dottie. Another older, yet quite pretty, woman.

Him and Dottie lived like dirt so Nabil could save money. They opened a restaurant.
Well about 8 years ago, there was this big huge thing where Nabil suckered a co owner out of money.
So what did the co owner do?
Ratted Nabil out to Dottie and let her know he had went back to Egypt on a visit 3 years prior, married a young Egyptian girl and they had two kids...while he was married to Dottie for over ten yrs.

My ex's brother married a very ugly and very fat 38 yr old woman when he was only 20.
Well, they just opened up a restuarant.
He is trying to go back to Cairo, and I recently had to vouch for him at immigration.
My ex told me 'of course he wants a young wife and kids (this woman had a hysterectomy after 2 kids) but he has to get his business!

My own ex is now with a 50 yr old women whose kids are crackheads.
When we got a divorce, he said to me that we can get back together after 3 yrs when he got his business built, then he can sell it and we can go back to egypt.
i told him once hes out that door theres no way im waiting for him....and he left anyway.
this women is fed to teeth with him.
in one yr, he is gonna sell the business, leave HER with the debts and fly back home forever.

i said it once, ill say its more...WATCH THESE MEN!!! MONEY IS THE ONLY THING THAT THEY LIVE FOR! most of you women here just know the egyptian way cuz your husbands that you met.
i know it because ive lived in this culture since i was 12.
i seen things you will NEVER see........yet you all notice and ask about.

why do u think they hop online in egypt and hunt down older western women to marry? because there is a shortage of females in egypt? because they dont like egyptian women? no and NO! its because they cant afford to marry the woman they want to marry in egypt. trust me, they ALL have the one egyptian girl they are in love with and cant marry because they got NO money. so how do they marry her? they have to find a way to get into the states, make money, and go back with much to offer her PLUS by now he is an egyptian citizen which means big respect over there.

none of them want to stay in the west forever! none of them want to be married to an older woman forever and not have his children speaking and living egypt!

dont you women get it by now!

when i go there, all i hear is the american dream this....and how they share ideas of how to gain wealth to bring back home.

its all about the MONEY! marriage and all!

however my ex's family is pissed off big time at him for what he did to me.
everytime him and aleya go thee, i have to hear stories from aleya and get phone calls from his sister rahab (who is like my bff), of how the family is fighting with him for leaving and bringing this old hag to their home.
his father moves out of the house each time he goes there because hes so disgusted with his son.

and this is something that all the families feel...yet they smile in the face of the older wife cuz after all, she IS the reason they now have a better lifestyle!

you know how many western union receipts I found hidden in the attic after he left? receipts of $1000 and more sent every month to cairo! while he made me and aleya live in poverty!? i once found $10,000 hidden away in the house...at the same time he made me go on WIC just to buy formula for our newborn baby cuz he was too cheap to buy it!
when i was pregnant...he made me work full time up to 2 days before the due date. he would take all my money then refused to buy groceries.
i was literally a starving pregnant woman who ended up going to her moms house for dinner at night.

it got so bad, my dad had enough and ripped my ex out of his car and beat his ass up in the street.

look, long story short, they are experts at living a double life.

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Posts: 588 | From: an oasis near the pyramids | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by Mo Ning Min E:
Samaka. have to agree with you.
Excellent post MD, i will certainly read your stuff more carefully in future.

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quote:

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It is a story you hear so often.

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quote:

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God knows how families even tacitly collude with their 'proud Egyptian' sons to behave like this.
'Haram' doesn't even cover it, does it?
Brings shame on these people.
How on earth do they pray????

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Some are taught it's not haram to rip off a foreigner, yes by their parents who pray 5 times a day!

Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by Questionmarks:
So, for some reason your parents and the parents of your wife as well, never had to teach both of you that effort is needed in order to reach a goal, Exiiled?
Or don't I understand you well enough? You and your wife both get an allowance big enough to cover all expenses even rather luxurious ones?
In fact the only thing you two have to keep in mind is that the allowance is, however exquisite, limited to a certain amount? Is this for the rest of your life?
If you should have children, how would you raise them? It's a quite extraordinary situation...

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Posts: 2275 | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by anthropos:
What is the big deal Questionmarks? Obviously Exiled is filthy rich and doesn't need to work. To say that working is good for you is just us being jealous of those that are so lucky to not have to work.
I wish I was in his position.

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Posts: 500 | From: United Arab Emirates | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by Exiiled:
Their minds must accept a person, if not, they place a big question mark on it, this in turn leads to labels being created by their minds to identify that person. These labels are often not very nice.

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Posts: 758 | From: Here. There. Everywhere. | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by Exiiled:
I liked the way Shanta Q put it. Explanatory but definitely objective. She placed an emphasis on motivation, and also discipline that people who don't work must eventually adhere too. Unfortunately for one reason or another society as evinced by some members here are unable grasp lifestyles that differ from what they're accustomed to. It's as if a person has to conform to the way they perceive life. I had a conversation with a gentlemen once, a man of leisure very much like myself, and he said when people ask him what he does for a living, he just lies, and says he's an accountant or some other mundane job. He realized that people in general must be able to identify with the person in order to eventually accept that person. Their minds must accept a person, if not, they place a big question mark on it, this in turn leads to labels being created by their minds to identify that person. These labels are often not very nice.

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Yes, perhaps this makes sense. I thought about it, and it's strange because it has to do with feeling valued. It seems that feeling valued is connected with being succesfull in professional life. But why do people need to feel valued?
Perhaps because they don't have enough selfesteem, and then somone couldintroduce himself as an accountant, while he isn't.
I am managing the season finals at the moment, and yesterdaynight after the matches were played, all the tennis association members were chatting with each other and the subject was work. One man, guess he's around 60, quitted working because of a huge disagreement with his employer. Protected by law he received a large sum and decided to quit. He is at home while his wife is working fulltime.
We tend to think about this kind of situations as a rather meaningless life. A man who is at home all day, cleaning the house, washin the laundry, cooking the food, that's not something to be jealous at for a man. It's okay for a woman, but not for a man.
Of course it's not the right way to think, but that's how people think, here.
My husband was at home for a few years, but he didn't feel right about it.
To be clear: This is not about same fingers on one hand, or about jealousy or shortsightenedness. It's about common opinions, attitudes, way of life.
Exiiled's way of living is unusual to me, and to most of my fellow compatriots, even the queen is working as I said earlier. That doesn't mean it's the one and only right way to live, I just want to understand. Where do you feel proud about? Or your parents? Don't they have any problems with this way of life? I cannot imagine that, when a father has worked all his life as a businessman, agrees in having a son needing financial support all his life, because he doesn't have plans to work.
I would worry about him!

Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by stayingput:

quote:

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Originally posted by Exiiled:
Their minds must accept a person, if not, they place a big question mark on it, this in turn leads to labels being created by their minds to identify that person. These labels are often not very nice.

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Standing and clapping, standing and clapping, standing and clapping!

That is people in general - a human trait.

In our need to make order out of what doesn't make sense, we categorize but not necessarily matching all of the characteristics.

For example:

Lerv stung western woman. Her Egyptian lerv must be one of those giggalos, just because he was Egyptian and left her.

It's not her fault.

She didn't understand the religion or the culture or the language and had nothing in common with him to begin with, other than they could both say each other's names, but it's his fault because he was Egyptian and he left her.

Classic ES label.

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Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by Questionmarks:

quote:

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Originally posted by Exiiled:
I liked the way Shanta Q put it. Explanatory but definitely objective. She placed an emphasis on motivation, and also discipline that people who don't work must eventually adhere too. Unfortunately for one reason or another society as evinced by some members here are unable grasp lifestyles that differ from what they're accustomed to. It's as if a person has to conform to the way they perceive life. I had a conversation with a gentlemen once, a man of leisure very much like myself, and he said when people ask him what he does for a living, he just lies, and says he's an accountant or some other mundane job. He realized that people in general must be able to identify with the person in order to eventually accept that person. Their minds must accept a person, if not, they place a big question mark on it, this in turn leads to labels being created by their minds to identify that person. These labels are often not very nice.

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Yes, perhaps this makes sense. I thought about it, and it's strange because it has to do with feeling valued. It seems that feeling valued is connected with being succesfull in professional life. But why do people need to feel valued?
Perhaps because they don't have enough selfesteem, and then somone couldintroduce himself as an accountant, while he isn't.
I am managing the season finals at the moment, and yesterdaynight after the matches were played, all the tennis association members were chatting with each other and the subject was work. One man, guess he's around 60, quitted working because of a huge disagreement with his employer. Protected by law he received a large sum and decided to quit. He is at home while his wife is working fulltime.
We tend to think about this kind of situations as a rather meaningless life. A man who is at home all day, cleaning the house, washin the laundry, cooking the food, that's not something to be jealous at for a man. It's okay for a woman, but not for a man.
Of course it's not the right way to think, but that's how people think, here.
My husband was at home for a few years, but he didn't feel right about it.
To be clear: This is not about same fingers on one hand, or about jealousy or shortsightenedness. It's about common opinions, attitudes, way of life.
Exiiled's way of living is unusual to me, and to most of my fellow compatriots, even the queen is working as I said earlier. That doesn't mean it's the one and only right way to live, I just want to understand. Where do you feel proud about? Or your parents? Don't they have any problems with this way of life? I cannot imagine that, when a father has worked all his life as a businessman, agrees in having a son needing financial support all his life, because he doesn't have plans to work.
I would worry about him!

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You completely missed the point. It's not about feeling valued at all. The man opts to tell people he's an accountant because apparently he meets people like you who fail to accept and understand lifestyles that don't include work. I guess he's annoyed by having to explain his life. There's also the issue of contempt that some people have for people who are set for life. I'm sure when he meets open minded people and people he feels comfortable with he divulges the truth. It's not easy saying something like “I don't need to work” to strangers, but I personally found the title “man of leisure” to be somewhat okay, it's smoother that's for sure.

People such as myself as I have reiterated are just like everyone else minus work. We're not a secret society of some sort. Some have inherited money and live off it, some live off estates and trusts, some are born wealthy, some have property and live off the rent. One thing that I have observed however is that such people and I'm also speaking from experience, have matured a little slower than people who work. I believe this immaturity hails from lack of responsibility gained from work and career.

I know a young lady who has to be dragged out of bed in order to do anything before 6pm, but come evening she's a riot. I also know a dude who does nothing but watch hindi movies all day. Now these two might be seen as lost cases but I think it's lack of motivation and also lack of discipline as was pointed out by Shanta. They also need to grow up.

You say it's not about jealousy or “shortsightedness” but rather it's about “common opinions” and “way of life.” Such an attitude is one of intolerance, even if there is a consensus, because we are all different. Some people have been dealt a unique set of cards in life but each person is the star of his or her own life. Living to appease society is a mistake but you feel it's necessary as that's the normal way and apparently because the almighty Queen Beatrix does it too. You mention that I need financial support all my life, you are assuming that, and I understand because it's probably due to my vagueness. Try to understand that I have assets and I live off dividends from those assets, before two years ago yes it was direct support. But these assets are now mine and their value as well as the dividends appreciate. Should we have a child then I'll pass the assets to him/her.

My mom is always busting my ass. She basically believes that idle hands lead to trouble, and wants me to work so I can stay out of trouble or so trouble doesn't find me. She stresses a lot, she watches the news and sees flooding on TV and calls me, even though it's like 1000 miles away. She's a mom she worries, like all moms do.. My dad gave up. He tried everything in the book including disowning me at one point. We're cool now. Love that man.

Posts: 2275 | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by Cheekyferret:
I want Exiileds life!

Dude, you can have mine which is ace but I wanna go backpacking in Cambodia!!! That sounds AWESOME.

I know many women here who don't have to work and not one of them complains about it... lucky flunkers!

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Cheeky tells it like it is.

I am so looking forward to Cambodia especially Siam Reap and the river boat ride through the jungle to get there from Phnom Phen. Maybe even eat fried snake. ahaha NOT!!! I actually had to rebook the flight to November so I can be there quicker. Thankfully everything here has settled down, the condo is 80% furnished, adjusted well to new neighborhood, only thing left is to lease a car.

But yeah it's time to put on the backpack, guess what this backpack has in common with Cairo? I bought it years ago from Sports Mall in Mohandesseen. It had to sew some rips here and there but it's still great but it's perfect midsize backpack for a 2-3 week trip.

Posts: 2275 | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by Mo Ning Min E:
I'm sorry TL, I'm sure you wrote with anger, and not thought, but your remark equating scum with poverty, and 'why didn't you find someone rich' really does make a point about materialism doesn't it?
No RICH scum eh?

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Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by Ayisha:
so uneducated = scum
educated = financially secure, not scum

I disagree. I have met scum with money and education and I have met decent people with no education and no money.

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Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by Miss_Tigerlily:

quote:

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Originally posted by Ayisha:
so uneducated = scum
educated = financially secure, not scum

I disagree. I have met scum with money and education and I have met decent people with no education and no money.

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And I am sure you have met many decent people with education and money and uneducated thieves who had no manners and conscience either as we all have but that's not the point here.

The point is that an Egyptian who has less education has less opportunities in his own country so he might go extreme ways to improve his lifestyle which includes entering marriage with a foreign woman for his own advantage. But I already wrote about this, see above.

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Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by Ayisha:

quote:

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Originally posted by Miss_Tigerlily:

quote:

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Originally posted by Ayisha:
so uneducated = scum
educated = financially secure, not scum

I disagree. I have met scum with money and education and I have met decent people with no education and no money.

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And I am sure you have met many decent people with education and money and uneducated thieves who had no manners and conscience either as we all have but that's not the point here.

The point is that an Egyptian who has less education has less opportunities in his own country so he might go extreme ways to improve his lifestyle which includes entering marriage with a foreign woman for his own advantage. But I already wrote about this, see above.

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yes he might, as might anyone else in any other country.

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Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by Questionmarks:
I didn't give any personal opinion as that I don't understand and that I am willing to understand...

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Posts: 2275 | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by Cheekyferret:
That was post 666 Exiile... just an observation A very good post though.

I know some very educated stupid people so having a good education doesn't always indicate they have much common sense!!!

Exiiled, I have often found people who are well travelled are the most accepting and understanding of others. The University of Life - priceless.

As a person who is passionate about volunteering and charity work, you don't have to get a pay cheque to feel worthy and valued in life. Some of us get that great feeling just by giving time and quality of life to others.

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“666” Hold up let me find a dictionary

I totally agree with you Cheeky. I'm glad you used the word “well traveled” because people who travel or visit only 1 or 2 places might actually hate those places and arrive at a distorted view of the word. I think when a person travels for prolonged periods of time they are bound to find not just the bad but also the good.

To actually delve into cultures, I know some people here despise Arabs and Muslims, but I know for a fact that some of them are some of the most beautiful hearted people. The same with Indians, Asians, Europeans, etc. I'm under the impression that Brits/Europeans are much kinder abroad, but I know it's because of my limited interaction with them in their own countries. I believe that.

Haven't done voluntary work in a while. I did love teaching Iraqi refugees English, I just get too caught up with my own BS, that I actually forget, becoming too selfish doing nothing. Good for you though and I hope you continue.

Posts: 2275 | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by Ayisha:

quote:

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Originally posted by metinoot:
Still this sounds like a load of crap.

Americans by and large are not materialistic.

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so you know sweet FA about UK, sweet FA about Egypt and also sweet FA about America. You need to get out more sono.

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Posts: 2280 | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by metinoot:

quote:

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Originally posted by Ayisha:

quote:

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Originally posted by metinoot:
Still this sounds like a load of crap.

Americans by and large are not materialistic.

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so you know sweet FA about UK, sweet FA about Egypt and also sweet FA about America. You need to get out more sono.

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Never claimed to know anything substantial about the UK, you on the otherhand make numerous claims about America and like Mo Ning Min E put enormous effort applying politics to the everyday habits/lifestyle of Americans.

By the way I have yet to see any other Egyptian username signify that there is "balady" and "foreign" vegetables.

Obviously a slipup on your part divulging how and the exactly how you are duped regularly by your love interest.

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Any chance of getting this in English?

Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by Ayisha:

quote:

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Originally posted by metinoot:

quote:

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Originally posted by Ayisha:

quote:

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Originally posted by metinoot:
Still this sounds like a load of crap.

Americans by and large are not materialistic.

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so you know sweet FA about UK, sweet FA about Egypt and also sweet FA about America. You need to get out more sono.

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Never claimed to know anything substantial about the UK, you on the otherhand make numerous claims about America and like Mo Ning Min E put enormous effort applying politics to the everyday habits/lifestyle of Americans.

By the way I have yet to see any other Egyptian username signify that there is "balady" and "foreign" vegetables.

Obviously a slipup on your part divulging how and the exactly how you are duped regularly by your love interest.

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Any chance of getting this in English?

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Posts: 2280 | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by Exiiled:

quote:

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Originally posted by Cheekyferret:
That was post 666 Exiile... just an observation A very good post though.

I know some very educated stupid people so having a good education doesn't always indicate they have much common sense!!!

Exiiled, I have often found people who are well travelled are the most accepting and understanding of others. The University of Life - priceless.

As a person who is passionate about volunteering and charity work, you don't have to get a pay cheque to feel worthy and valued in life. Some of us get that great feeling just by giving time and quality of life to others.

---

“666” Hold up let me find a dictionary

I totally agree with you Cheeky. I'm glad you used the word “well traveled” because people who travel or visit only 1 or 2 places might actually hate those places and arrive at a distorted view of the word. I think when a person travels for prolonged periods of time they are bound to find not just the bad but also the good.

To actually delve into cultures, I know some people here despise Arabs and Muslims, but I know for a fact that some of them are some of the most beautiful hearted people. The same with Indians, Asians, Europeans, etc. I'm under the impression that Brits/Europeans are much kinder abroad, but I know it's because of my limited interaction with them in their own countries. I believe that.

Haven't done voluntary work in a while. I did love teaching Iraqi refugees English, I just get too caught up with my own BS, that I actually forget, becoming too selfish doing nothing. Good for you though and I hope you continue.

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Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | 

posted                      

quote:

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Originally posted by metinoot:

quote:

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Originally posted by Ayisha:

quote:

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Originally posted by metinoot:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ayisha:

quote:

---

Originally posted by metinoot:
Still this sounds like a load of crap.

Americans by and large are not materialistic.

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so you know sweet FA about UK, sweet FA about Egypt and also sweet FA about America. You need to get out more sono.

---

Never claimed to know anything substantial about the UK, you on the otherhand make numerous claims about America and like Mo Ning Min E put enormous effort applying politics to the everyday habits/lifestyle of Americans.

By the way I have yet to see any other Egyptian username signify that there is "balady" and "foreign" vegetables.

Obviously a slipup on your part divulging how and the exactly how you are duped regularly by your love interest.

---

Any chance of getting this in English?

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What are you being sold "English" garlic at double the price of "Foreign" garlic now? How much did the "English" garlic cost you? 15LE?

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if you lived here you would know there is imported Garlic and there is balady Garlic, dumbo.

Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged |