quote:Originally posted by civil society: i find it extremely interesting that everyone is so willing to harp on women (not just mh) for 'not paying attention to their children' when there are also men that father children and just walk away w-out ever even looking back. those that live in glass houses...
It's not about harping on a woman, civil society. If a man came on here and posted over the past 3 yrs of constantly running off for a month every 6 months and leaves his children, spends 12,000 dollars on vacations to meet women yet only takes his kids to the park and dinner "once a year as a special treat" to "conserve money" then he would get the same crap. Mystic has clearly posted these things many times in a public forum, I don't think that it is too out of the ordinary for a forum mostly with women(many of us mothers) too find this unacceptable behavior.
I have been divorced for almost 7 years and my children come first before a man , bottom line. It is my responsibilty and their happiness is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING to me . I couldn't imagine making my children go without so I could use the money to go land a husband . I make sure they have everything, I take them on trips first, I want them to have fun and a lifetime of memories. Who I will spend my future with knows this and expects it, bottom line. How could you expect any less of a woman you are considering marrying and possibly having more children with???
Bingo. . .
The other concern about MH and her hunt for a man would be the fact these men may intentionally seek women with young children for their own sexual gratification (pedophils).
Great. . .MH finds a man with money to provide for her and her kids & all she has to do is spread her legs when he wants. I don't think it's ever that simple. What a miserable life. I'd much rather struggle financially than be at some man's beck and call because he has the money.
How many times have you heard of the step-fathers abusing their step-children. MH would be the type of person who is so afraid of being without a man that I see her possibly being in denial if told of any abuse or her children would be scared to tell her because they know their mom would never take their side for fear of losing her man.
Extremely sad situation.
Bonzo`s concerns brought this sad real story to my mind.Everyone should take a look:
posted
Maybe we should be going for that song which Edith Piaf sings: "Non, Je ne regrette rien" . . . because when it comes right down to it, you have to move on with your life!
No! No regrets No! I will have no regrets All the things That went wrong For at last I have learned to be strong
No! No regrets No! I will have no regrets For the grief doesn't last It is gone I've forgotten the past
And the memories I had I no longer desire Both the good and the bad I have flung in a fire And I feel in my heart That the seed has been sown It is something quite new It's like nothing I've known
-------------------- I fell in to a burning ring of fire . . . Posts: 895 | From: NorthTexas, USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:Originally posted by justvisiting: For some reason that Buckcherry song comes to mind....
I love Buckcherry! "Hey, you're a crazy bitch, but you fukk so good...." My favorite song! Posts: 409 | From: Iowa, United States | Registered: Apr 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Pothead_Barbie: u guys are nerds lol
thats so funny classic!!ya dont hear that too often anymore!
Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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Smuckers, we are being over run by adolescents . . . so they think it is ok to call a woman a B*tch and talk about f*cking all the time. This kind of stuff bores me to tears . . . there are more things to life than talking so ugly about those around you.
Oops . . . i'll probably get it now!
-------------------- I fell in to a burning ring of fire . . . Posts: 895 | From: NorthTexas, USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
i'm telling you all, i said it before, ES theme song should be Jimmy Buffet's "Fruitcakes"...
Fruitcakes in the kitchen Fruitcakes on the street Struttin naked through the crosswalk In the middle of the week Half-baked cookies in the oven Half-baked people on the bus Theres a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us
quote:Originally posted by cbrbddd: Smuckers, we are being over run by adolescents . . . so they think it is ok to call a woman a B*tch and talk about f*cking all the time. This kind of stuff bores me to tears . . . there are more things to life than talking so ugly about those around you.
Oops . . . i'll probably get it now!
Excuse me, I said I like the song. That doesn't mean I disrespect a women like that. I see a women as more than a 'fukk' but a life long partner. Posts: 409 | From: Iowa, United States | Registered: Apr 2008
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posted
davieschristopher, can I call you dave or chris, choose one please, the original is too long and so is 'new fella with beer'
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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"Theres a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us"
Yeah, but some have all of their currants missing. Posts: 1157 | From: Censor - Edit - Delete, but you will never take away my FREEDOM! | Registered: Dec 2007
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call him DC AYISHA I DO .. Posts: 3945 | From: ' Res Contr ' Amor non es guirens, lai on sos poders s'atura | Registered: Dec 2007
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Nope I still think "The lunatics have taken over the asylum" by The Specials, has to be in with a chance Posts: 4476 | From: Scotland | Registered: Mar 2006
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lord i remember it well. Y.A.H
Posts: 3945 | From: ' Res Contr ' Amor non es guirens, lai on sos poders s'atura | Registered: Dec 2007
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da dum da dum da dum.. or maybe happy house .. siouxie and the banshees Posts: 3945 | From: ' Res Contr ' Amor non es guirens, lai on sos poders s'atura | Registered: Dec 2007
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posted
*waiting patiently for MysticMagic to come back with fresh new luuuuv adventures under her sleeve* Posts: 3833 | From: here,there,everywhere | Registered: Nov 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: davieschristopher, can I call you dave or chris, choose one please, the original is too long and so is 'new fella with beer'
I agree, too long of a name ~
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: davieschristopher, can I call you dave or chris, choose one please, the original is too long and so is 'new fella with beer'
Hey, yeah, call me either or. I don't really care as long as I know you are directing it toward me! DC is a good one I would suppose! Posts: 409 | From: Iowa, United States | Registered: Apr 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8: *waiting patiently for MysticMagic to come back with fresh new luuuuv adventures under her sleeve*
Nope.
I don't think she'll be back. I think she's said everything she wants her almost but not quite but then again it doesn't matter ex-husband to read.
She's off to the next one.
I bet anything she must be on an Oriental board/forum with Culture Club. Posts: 3833 | From: here,there,everywhere | Registered: Nov 2007
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posted
He is not my almost but not quite ex, he is my exhusband, legally april 6th. I spoke with a different Imam about when i am considered divorced in Islam, he says nothing to do with papers, it goes from time of seperation. The wait is 3 menstrual cycles from time of seperation.. Seperation Feb 13th , I have had 3 already going on 4th so, waiting period is over. I told Imam that he didnt inform me of intention to divorce until March 7th and he said didnt matter because the intention was in his heart. The whole waiting period is designed to ensure no pregnancy.So he advised that to be safe to wait about 2 more weeks to consider the waiting time officially over, however did advise that it is ok that i have began the search as long as a marriage does not take place before the waiting time is over, so. that makes 2 imams from different states that have said same. And anything i have to say to momen i email to him so i dont need to post here for him to know anything.
quote:Originally posted by desertgirl: Makbeta!! You are in Egypt and you didn't tell me!! Who is going to post songs in the music thread now?? Just kidding, have a great time!! Enjoy and relax after all those working days.
OMG This thread is not dead yet??!!
Here I am in Egypt and find my life without ES (especially my Music Thread) simply unbearable!! Posts: 2807 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007
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quote:Originally posted by mysticheart: He is not my almost but not quite ex, he is my exhusband, legally april 6th. I spoke with a different Imam about when i am considered divorced in Islam, he says nothing to do with papers, it goes from time of seperation. The wait is 3 menstrual cycles from time of seperation.. Seperation Feb 13th , I have had 3 already going on 4th so, waiting period is over. I told Imam that he didnt inform me of intention to divorce until March 7th and he said didnt matter because the intention was in his heart. The whole waiting period is designed to ensure no pregnancy.So he advised that to be safe to wait about 2 more weeks to consider the waiting time officially over, however did advise that it is ok that i have began the search as long as a marriage does not take place before the waiting time is over, so. that makes 2 imams from different states that have said same. And anything i have to say to momen i email to him so i dont need to post here for him to know anything.
so the 'separation' time is from when you left Egypt? Going by this then, if a man and woman are not actually living together, as in the man works away, and he then says he wants a divorce after being away 6 months, there is no waiting time as its all been done beforehand?
newcomer any advice on this?
Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
That is the way they both explained it to me, because the whole purpose of the waiting period is to ensure there is no possibility of pregnancy, and if you have not been living together sharing the same bed or having intimate relations there is no possibility
-------------------- your ass is so tight when you fart only a dog can hear it.when you queef only a cat can hear that one. Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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That makes no sense...I think separation means when you were separated as the divorce was declared. Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: That makes no sense...I think separation means when you were separated as the divorce was declared.
Smuckers, let me break it down for you: According to the two virtual Imams who advised MH about such matters on two individual message boards with domains domiciled in two different states it's not the date the divorce was declared, but the date she decided the Evil Momen might have found divorce an option in his heart.
Now that might not have been the answer MH would have received if she could have dragged her grieving self out of her car in the parking lot of her own Mosque, walked in, and had a face-to-face, honest, and open discussion with an Imam there, but this answer works for HER, so that's the way it's gonna be.
Posts: 758 | From: Here. There. Everywhere. | Registered: Mar 2008
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posted
May I suggest that you also verify the qualifications of this second Imam to give you a Fatwa, as anyone who has studied Islamic law to any depth will tell you that it is only Allah who knows what is in a person’s heart and that legal rulings are made on what is apparent not on what is assumed.
The linguistic definition of Talaq (divorce) is “setting free” or "undoing of, or releasing from a knot" and in the view of Islam, divorce means the immediate and future annulment of the marriage contract. There are no specific prescribed words in the Quran that are to be used by a husband to pronounce divorce to his wife. However, the words, either declared in writing or verbally, should convey the intention of the husband to dissolve the marriage , such as saying: “I hereby divorce you!” or indirectly saying, “I hereby consider you unlawful to me!”
If you read the Islamic law books, you will see many discussions about the conditions of the lawfulness of a declaration of divorce, such as that it can’t be pronounced during menstruation, and, if it is, it has to be said again during a period of ritual purity after the menstruation and without having had intercourse. The divorce then starts from the second declaration, not the first intention. There are other discussions about under what conditions a divorce if lawful when pronounced during anger or intoxication or a time of insanity. There is never any discussion about how do we guess when he first intended to do it, because that is a non issue. When the husband intended to do it is not the issue, the issue is whether he intended it when he declared it!
The waiting period isn’t only to see whether the woman is pregnant or not, if that were the case, post-menopausal woman would have no `Iddah, but they have to wait for three months from the declaration. It is something prescribed by Allah following the death of a husband or a declaration of divorce.
As to searching for a new husband while still in `Iddah, please go and ask that Imam, as you are still considered to be under the ruling of a wife when you are in your `Iddah, how it can possibly be ok to be looking for another husband?! I know that you are new to Islam and things seem confusing, but you really do need to find people with sound knowledge to advise you, and it would appear that the Imams near you either do not have good knowledge, or what is possibly more likely, that they don’t know how to express it clearly in good English.
And I’ll leave you to continue the research now...and may Allah be your Guide and then those with sound knowledge!
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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-------------------- "Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts." (Sign hanging in Einstein's office at Princeton) Leap and the Net will Appear. Posts: 3891 | From: No good deed goes unpunished. | Registered: May 2007
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-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: thanks newcomer
MH, paltalk or yahoo 'imams' dont count
whats paltalk and imams????? u know some women do enjoy the comforts of having a man around wethere it be for love money or companionship! who are we to tell her she cant do that!if it makes her happy i am happy for her!! as long as he is good to her he may just be the one for her!! but mystic dear i dont agree with somethings they say! dont spend no money on him!!let him be the giver!! let him come to u!!!
Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers: That makes no sense...I think separation means when you were separated as the divorce was declared.
Smuckers, let me break it down for you: According to the two virtual Imams who advised MH about such matters on two individual message boards with domains domiciled in two different states it's not the date the divorce was declared, but the date she decided the Evil Momen might have found divorce an option in his heart.
Now that might not have been the answer MH would have received if she could have dragged her grieving self out of her car in the parking lot of her own Mosque, walked in, and had a face-to-face, honest, and open discussion with an Imam there, but this answer works for HER, so that's the way it's gonna be.
For your information, my information was in person not on net. I went to my local imam first and asked, then i went to a masjid in new hampshire while i was there and discussed the matter.. So before you open your mouth stating i found the info online, maybe you should ask me where i got the info
Posts: 2410 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Mar 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: thanks newcomer
MH, paltalk or yahoo 'imams' dont count
whats paltalk and imams????? u know some women do enjoy the comforts of having a man around wethere it be for love money or companionship! who are we to tell her she cant do that!if it makes her happy i am happy for her!! as long as he is good to her he may just be the one for her!! but mystic dear i dont agree with somethings they say! dont spend no money on him!!let him be the giver!! let him come to u!!!
Trust me sweety, i have not spent nor will i spend one penny on him. He made a trip to see me and meet me in person, he paid everything including food and gas, he wanted me to meet with his brother and sister in law and several of his friends so that i was more comfortable in him saying he is how and who he is. He also put me through on a phone call to his mother and sister in indonesia. He paid my ticket there, paid the hotel which was not a hotel, it was a spa resort called wentworth by the sea, as well as took me to a few malls and insisted on buying things for me. Soooo no, i am not spending anything at all, he however has spent a small fortune. The next plan is for him to come back here memorial day weekend and meet with my children and their father. He has spoken with my mother and sister already, as well as my best friend in florida. And why the hurry? Not really a hurry, we are planning and discussing possible future plans, but for my part its financial support, for his, he wants a muslim wife and children. i have asked why he has chosen me over others that might not have children. He says that he has not met anyone that has the same gentle heart and caring that i do, that i am honest and open about everything while others try to hide things from the past. He is offering much more than i have asked for.
Posts: 2410 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
good for u mystic!!i hope yal will be happy!!!
-------------------- your ass is so tight when you fart only a dog can hear it.when you queef only a cat can hear that one. Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
He doesn't have a father anymore? For what reasons he went to the US, and how does he make a living?
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote: Trust me sweety, i have not spent nor will i spend one penny on him.
Yes, you will.
quote: He made a trip to see me and meet me in person, he paid everything including food and gas, he wanted me to meet with his brother and sister in law and several of his friends so that i was more comfortable in him saying he is how and who he is.
Which part of the states did he travel from? Jumping in your car and renting out a hotel room doesn't count.
quote: He also put me through on a phone call to his mother and sister in indonesia.
I should join Psychic friends hotline.
quote: He paid my ticket there, paid the hotel which was not a hotel, it was a spa resort called wentworth by the sea, as well as took me to a few malls and insisted on buying things for me.
investment.
quote: Soooo no, i am not spending anything at all, he however has spent a small fortune.
If you consider that a small fortune I hate to see how much savings you have in your bank account. However, considering how much you asked from Momen I'm not surprised.
quote: The next plan is for him to come back here memorial day weekend and meet with my children and their father.
So you've met him in person once and now you're going to ok him to meet your kids and ex husband and get them to 'OK' this guy? If I have a guess I would say he needs something from you, citizenship? MH never tells us the full story so I try to read between the lines...what is he, in the country illegally?
quote: He has spoken with my mother and sister already, as well as my best friend in florida.
And that tells us ... what?
quote: And why the hurry? Not really a hurry, we are planning and discussing possible future plans, but for my part its financial support, for his, he wants a muslim wife and children.
The ink isn't even dry on your last divorce and you're already parading him around your family and friends but...no it isn't a hurry. Right. He wants a muslim wife and children, the fact that he is choosing one who is so quick to jump into...whatever...after her last divorce and your history with men tells me he's taking what he can get. The fact that you have (how many?) kids and he's willing to support them without even really knowing you either says a lot.
Are you both totally off your rocker or what??
quote: i have asked why he has chosen me over others that might not have children. He says that he has not met anyone that has the same gentle heart and caring that i do, that i am honest and open about everything while others try to hide things from the past.
how long did he look, 4 hours? I'm sure that spoke right to your ego, someone telling you how great and nice and 'gentle' you are. Jeesh~
quote: He is offering much more than i have asked for. '
I don't doubt that but it doesn't mean it's worth it. I just think you haven't been accustomed to asking for much for yourself in the past. Now you're settling for...what the hell is this?
I need a bucket...and not popcorn! Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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Mystic, have you looked here for him yet? I'm not trying to be mean. It's the very LEAST a woman with children should do before bringing a completely strange man into their home. Personally, I'd recommend at least a year of getting to know him before letting him meet the kids. No, scratch that. I'd personally stay single until my kid was 18, although I know that's expecting too much from most folks. But please think this through with your head and your children's best interests at heart.
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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This is truly crazy. I'm not one to spoil your fun Mystic but what you are doing really is crazy. Its one thing to want male attention, but to bring a stranger into your kids lives as a prospective step dad is insane, after a month or so of the last one ending. What are you teaching your kids? can you tell me that? This is so rebound and I cant believe you cant see it, i'm beginning to think you must be lying about somethings and not as honest as you say you are.
Posts: 918 | From: Earth | Registered: Jan 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: *passes bucket to smucky*
*settles down for next episode*
Ooopsssssssssssssss......xcuse me for being late for the round,Ayisha. *grabs bucket from Smucky and offers a chunk of her caramel-peanuts-popcorn bar* Posts: 3833 | From: here,there,everywhere | Registered: Nov 2007
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posted
*shares dark choc Toblerone from new shop in Luxor with sashyra*
*passes spliff with 'CHILL MAN' in glitter on side to Mrs*
ahem, sashy, that bucket you got from smucks wasnt a popcorn bucket you know
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Mrs.: This is so rebound and I cant believe you cant see it, i'm beginning to think you must be lying about somethings and not as honest as you say you are.
Please replace the word THINK with HOPE...
((keep the bucket, I'm having my coconut cream pie))
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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. I couldn't imagine making my children go without so I could use the money to go land a husband ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
. I make sure they have everything, I take them on trips first, I want them to have fun and a lifetime of memories. Who I will spend my future with knows this and expects it, bottom line. How could you expect any less of a woman you are considering marrying and possibly having more children with??? 
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