posted
Hi everyone I have been reading posts for a while now, just decided to registar and ask you guys and gals some questions and opinions.
Just wondered what you thought bout my relation ship with my egyptian man.
We met November 19th 2007 while i was on a nile cruise with my family. I spotted him working in the bar, we smiled at each other and this went on for a few days after which time another guy on the boat decided to ask me out and i said no. When he asked why i told him that i liked his friend. He told his friend and then after this we began to chat between his work. Just general questions really, then i gave him my mobile number.
He waited for a day and then we began texting as he cant have any relationships with guests while working so we did it on the quiet.
We got on well and i decided to stay in egypt for longer than one week. Now by the 2nd week he told me that he loved me and wanted to be with me.
Just to clear one thing up. i am 27 and he is 32 so no huge age gap, just incase anyone is wondering
Anyway, what was making it so hard was that he works 42 days and then has 2 weeks hols but this was too difficult for us so i asked him to leave his job while we rented a flat and he could get another job so i could see him. He did do this but he told me that he needed to give his mum some money as he did when he worked and now he had none so i helped him with this.
Basically the story goes on and i am with him 6 months later. sometimes in the uk(on my own to visit family) and sometimes with him but everyone thinks he is using me for a meal ticket?
He still is not working but has been having driving lessons so that he can work as a taxi driver which yes, i paid for. I have also been paying the rent on the flat and for food.
He asked me if i would marry him and he also asked if i would buy a flat in egypt for us to live in.
Then he asked for some kind of company for us to work in which again i would buy.
Does this seem fishy?. I just cant get my head around it. We have such a laugh together, we get on well, great love life, he is so attentive to me, always saying he loves me etc, never gets mad with me and never hurts me.
I have met his family alot of times, especially his mum and sisters and all his friends. He wants a wedding at the embassy and then a party after to show me off
Its just this money issue, he asks me to buy flat etc and people say he is using me. What do u think?
Posts: 30 | Registered: Apr 2008
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posted
Yeah, I think he could very well be using you.
-------------------- "And in the end, the love we take will be equal to the love we make." ~The Beatles~ Posts: 895 | From: Atlanta, GA. | Registered: Nov 2004
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-------------------- "It's very important to learn how to weasel out of things. It's what separates us from the animals...except the weasel." ~Homer J. Simpson Posts: 422 | From: American living in Maadi, visiting in the States for awhile | Registered: Jul 2006
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sorry, i shouldn't be that way...i really like that song, tho!
how do you feel? do you think he's using you? what is your body telling you? do you feel anxious or nervous when you think about it? does your stomach turn and you want to throw up when he asks for money? or do you feel confident and calm? could be he's using you for money, could be he loves you and it's a bonus for him that you have money to give him and he's trying to build a future for the two of you...i'm sure most people here will think he's using you...i can't say, but it doesn't sound too promising. Posts: 422 | From: American living in Maadi, visiting in the States for awhile | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
yeah i know what u mean, guess what u say is right, just feel a fool cause when we r together it feels so good but then people tell me they r experts at talking the talk
walkingathinline - is a nice song too, i aint offended lol
Posts: 30 | Registered: Apr 2008
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quote:Originally posted by reb27: Hi everyone I have been reading posts for a while now, just decided to registar and ask you guys and gals some questions and opinions.
Just wondered what you thought bout my relation ship with my egyptian man.
We met November 19th 2007 while i was on a nile cruise with my family. I spotted him working in the bar, we smiled at each other and this went on for a few days after which time another guy on the boat decided to ask me out and i said no. When he asked why i told him that i liked his friend. He told his friend and then after this we began to chat between his work. Just general questions really, then i gave him my mobile number.
He waited for a day and then we began texting as he cant have any relationships with guests while working so we did it on the quiet.
We got on well and i decided to stay in egypt for longer than one week. Now by the 2nd week he told me that he loved me and wanted to be with me.
Just to clear one thing up. i am 27 and he is 32 so no huge age gap, just incase anyone is wondering
Anyway, what was making it so hard was that he works 42 days and then has 2 weeks hols but this was too difficult for us so i asked him to leave his job while we rented a flat and he could get another job so i could see him. He did do this but he told me that he needed to give his mum some money as he did when he worked and now he had none so i helped him with this.
Basically the story goes on and i am with him 6 months later. sometimes in the uk(on my own to visit family) and sometimes with him but everyone thinks he is using me for a meal ticket?
He still is not working but has been having driving lessons so that he can work as a taxi driver which yes, i paid for. I have also been paying the rent on the flat and for food.
He asked me if i would marry him and he also asked if i would buy a flat in egypt for us to live in.
Then he asked for some kind of company for us to work in which again i would buy.
Does this seem fishy?. I just cant get my head around it. We have such a laugh together, we get on well, great love life, he is so attentive to me, always saying he loves me etc, never gets mad with me and never hurts me.
I have met his family alot of times, especially his mum and sisters and all his friends. He wants a wedding at the embassy and then a party after to show me off
Its just this money issue, he asks me to buy flat etc and people say he is using me. What do u think?
From what I read, I think your instincts are already telling you the answers, yet you are trying to use your brain to rationalize that what he is asking you may be okay. Well, it isn't. The fact that he asked you to buy an apartment bothers me. A good Egyptian man (or from any ethnic background anyway) wouldn't ask you to buy anything for him. If you want to be sure whether he is trying to take advantage of him, simply tell him that you will not buy anything and you will know for sure by his reaction. Follow your instincts, dear and good luck to you.
Posts: 141 | Registered: Apr 2008
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posted
well i have tried to tackle him on this, basically i said i wanted to live in uk not egypt and which he said yes to. He said he would work and give me half, so we pay half each, also i should tell him until then he starts working again and pays his own way
Posts: 30 | Registered: Apr 2008
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posted
The principle of him asking you is just not right. You are not married and you are buying an apartment together? I don't know. Test him and you will know for sure. As I said, follow your instincts.
Posts: 141 | Registered: Apr 2008
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Just screw and get rid off of him. Enjoy it while it lasts and keep the money in your pockets.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Reb, would you accept this kind of behaviour from a British man? If not, then don't accept it from him. No difference.
Unemployment is THE major social problem in Egypt, he would not have given up his job unless he was sure he had a meal ticket, which you are providing for him now. And how long does it take to learn to drive? The whole story doesn't add up.
What does he do when you are working? Sit in the home you provide? Spend your money on food? Still giving his mother YOUR money? He is KEPT man, and making very little effort to be otherwise.
Posts: 1039 | From: Cairo | Registered: Sep 2002
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posted
You don't love him, you just hope he loves you. He asked you for money and to buy a flat for you two to live...you've paid for him to do things and his family seem to support that. A better family would tell him to buck up and support you properly ALONE if he was really serious. Even though he is persuasive doesn't mean he's honest, and I smell a rat.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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That ain't workin' that's the way YOU do it Money for nothin' and the chick for free...
This txt is out of an old lyric, but it is suitable for this situation. The guy must feel himself in heaven, with a providing chick ( because you are NOT his wife) who pays all for him. A few subtile hints about the next wish on his list, and reb takes her wallet to give her precious darling whatever he wants. Food, a place to stay, a drivers license, money for the mama, and right now an appartment to buy. Of course he is sweet and friendly to you, he hasn't have to do anything else as being sweet... A man has rights and duties, but it seems you have voluntarily exchanged your rights into duties, and his duties into rights.
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
Quote : Its just this money issue, he asks me to buy flat etc and people say he is using me. What do u think? Wake up girl........this Guy is a 1st Class Rat...don't ask us on ES what we think you know yourself this Guy wants you for money and nothing more....get rid of him....he is not worth the ground he stands on.
Posts: 59 | From: Europe | Registered: Sep 2006
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posted
hi reb you asked are u being used . from when u said he has to send his mother money i smelt a rat. first off if he was a descent man he would be getting you to pay for almost everythink .i think u need to either put this jerk [sorry to say that] to the test. or just say ur needed back home cos the bank need to see u abt money . and get the hell out of there . otherwise he will bleed u dry good luck
Posts: 154 | From: somewhere in the uk | Registered: Mar 2008
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posted
If he is working at the bar of a cruise ship at his 32, it means he is in a hopeless condition And I m sure dear, untill his 32, he tried it on too many girls I traveled a lot on cruises in Egypt and I know those working guys. All they do is trying to have a good catch
And I think it was a mistake to make him leaving his job as he may blame you if you would like to end this relationship one day.
What's your job reb27?
Posts: 2591 | From: **Ex Oriente Lux** | Registered: Jan 2007
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quote:Originally posted by reb27: Hi everyone I have been reading posts for a while now, just decided to registar and ask you guys and gals some questions and opinions.
Just wondered what you thought bout my relation ship with my egyptian man.
We met November 19th 2007 while i was on a nile cruise with my family. I spotted him working in the bar, we smiled at each other and this went on for a few days after which time another guy on the boat decided to ask me out and i said no. When he asked why i told him that i liked his friend. He told his friend and then after this we began to chat between his work. Just general questions really, then i gave him my mobile number.
He waited for a day and then we began texting as he cant have any relationships with guests while working so we did it on the quiet.
We got on well and i decided to stay in egypt for longer than one week. Now by the 2nd week he told me that he loved me and wanted to be with me.
Just to clear one thing up. i am 27 and he is 32 so no huge age gap, just incase anyone is wondering
Anyway, what was making it so hard was that he works 42 days and then has 2 weeks hols but this was too difficult for us so i asked him to leave his job while we rented a flat and he could get another job so i could see him. He did do this but he told me that he needed to give his mum some money as he did when he worked and now he had none so i helped him with this.
Basically the story goes on and i am with him 6 months later. sometimes in the uk(on my own to visit family) and sometimes with him but everyone thinks he is using me for a meal ticket?
He still is not working but has been having driving lessons so that he can work as a taxi driver which yes, i paid for. I have also been paying the rent on the flat and for food.
He asked me if i would marry him and he also asked if i would buy a flat in egypt for us to live in.
Then he asked for some kind of company for us to work in which again i would buy.
Does this seem fishy?. I just cant get my head around it. We have such a laugh together, we get on well, great love life, he is so attentive to me, always saying he loves me etc, never gets mad with me and never hurts me.
I have met his family alot of times, especially his mum and sisters and all his friends. He wants a wedding at the embassy and then a party after to show me off
Its just this money issue, he asks me to buy flat etc and people say he is using me. What do u think?
How a man could ask a woman for an apartment? Company? Money for his mom? Expenses money? Is beyond me! Where is the dignity? But you are also to blame because it was you that took him out of his job, it was you who facilitated and opened the door to what translates to handouts and begging.
You are being fleeced and it is your fault. You need to test your man, there is nothing sweet about life when something comes easily.
posted
exiled well said this women need to throw this loser out cos once she supplies money she will alway do it . tell him ur money has dryed up and see what happens then he will dump u like a ton of bricks ur deserve better than him good luck
Posts: 154 | From: somewhere in the uk | Registered: Mar 2008
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quote:Originally posted by nasrcity: exiled well said this women need to throw this loser out cos once she supplies money she will alway do it . tell him ur money has dryed up and see what happens then he will dump u like a ton of bricks ur deserve better than him good luck
The money drying up is a good idea. Everything in life when it comes very easily isn’t as appreciated and I know this from personal experience. You have to struggle to find love, struggle to make the relationship grow, struggle for a car, for a home and at least initially. But when the first home comes by asking someone to buy it and when the first whatever comes by asking someone else to but then this creates disproportionate levels of appreciation, money does not grow on trees. I simply advocate attainment of items in a gradual sense, now if he were the woman and she was the man then that would not pose a problem, because let us be realistic we are talking about Egyptians and Egyptian culture and this is not normal. In essence he is a bum and she is a cash cow.
Posts: 2418 | Registered: Nov 2007
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posted
reb27, Its not right, something is wrong about this relationship.
If you really wanna be with him, buy the flat but under yourname or why not rent a flat for three months in the begining maybe this whole thing wont work between the 2 of you
Only fools rush in. DON'T marry him, reb27. Please don't, you will regret later.
-------------------- forum sharameet we khawalat we el operator m3rseen Posts: 504 | Registered: Mar 2008
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posted
reb rent a flat as been said on here and dont come on so easy with the cash . make him do it and then u will see the true colour of him.if he still sticks around put the work on him and u sit back only when ur sure he is 100% then u can work out what to do . please dont allow this guy to fleece u . descent egyptian men are not like that and will not accept a penny from u good luck nasrcity
Posts: 154 | From: somewhere in the uk | Registered: Mar 2008
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posted
A 32 year old man, who hasn’t seem to achieved anything that catches the eye. Wow! Working in a bar at a cruise ship at his age. Great carrier! He doesn’t seem to have any real future goals. He quits his job to live on a woman’s money. Sounds like a really great catch! Hold on to this one, girl!
BTW, Exiled, this isn’t normal in Egypt, but it’s not normal in Europe either.
Posts: 119 | From: Where ever I lay my head... | Registered: Feb 2008
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posted
yes i agree with you all, i aint gonna be such a FOOL anymore, thanks for waking me up everyone. I will let u know how it goes.
Someone (sorry forgot who) asked what my job is, i have my own website selling books, etc and i do some ebay stuff.
Last night i told him that from now on he needs to get "after i have finished driving school", when will that be????, i aint even gonna speak to him again till he gives me an answer as to when its finished and no i wont be handing anymore freebies out.
Posts: 30 | Registered: Apr 2008
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posted
good one u could do reb is to tell him to apply for his job back on the ships while u stay where u are and make he know u wont support him or his mother any long and see what reaction u get and go from there but just make out u havet done so well with work and save that money then if u do deside to call it a day he wont have had as much out of u as he thinks
Posts: 154 | From: somewhere in the uk | Registered: Mar 2008
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quote:Originally posted by reb27: Last night i told him that from now on he needs to get "after i have finished driving school", when will that be????, i aint even gonna speak to him again till he gives me an answer as to when its finished and no i wont be handing anymore freebies out.
Relax, and don’t resort to ultimatums or such behavior. Keep your heart open and keep talking to him but simply inquire from time to time about the status of his driving license endeavor. Remain cool and don’t deprive good feelings but instead what you need to do is simply separate love and finances in the early stages of your relationship. When you two actually build a life together then that is a different matter. Don’t push him but rather witness for yourself if he keeps his word, if he is motivated and if he is actually striving to actually play a constructive role in your relationship. Enjoy your relationship and at the same time be smart about everything.
posted
'as sure as day is light and night is dark', she loves him and she needs to go through the process and this is the beauty of life, telling her to stay away is meaningless because i know women and as bad as some of us are we can have our ways with women, just be careful and seperate the money from the relationship.
quote:Originally posted by Exiled: 'as sure as day is light and night is dark', she loves him and she needs to go through the process and this is the beauty of life, telling her to stay away is meaningless because i know women and as bad as some of us are we can have our ways with women, just be careful and seperate the money from the relationship.
You’re so very right, unfortunately. My friend and travel companion to Egypt had fallen for such a low life character. Until she slightly came back to earth it felt like talking to the walls. So frustrating… I don’t visit ES very often anymore. Busy working, and I didn’t feel like I had anything special to contribute. But when I visit ES somehow some posts always seem to amaze me.
Why is a certain type of Egyptian guy, who doesn’t seem to have to offer that much, so irresistible to independent, educated, professional women?
Posts: 119 | From: Where ever I lay my head... | Registered: Feb 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Exiled: 'as sure as day is light and night is dark', she loves him and she needs to go through the process and this is the beauty of life, telling her to stay away is meaningless because i know women and as bad as some of us are we can have our ways with women, just be careful and seperate the money from the relationship.
You’re so very right, unfortunately. My friend and travel companion to Egypt had fallen for such a low life character. Until she slightly came back to earth it felt like talking to the walls. So frustrating… I don’t visit ES very often anymore. Busy working, and I didn’t feel like I had anything special to contribute. But when I visit ES somehow some posts always seem to amaze me.
Why is a certain type of Egyptian guy, who doesn’t seem to have to offer that much, so irresistible to independent, educated, professional women?
The same way attractive young uneducated Isaan (thai village women) attract western men on vacation in Thailand. The boyfriend/girlfriend experience materializes instantly; the ‘love’ develops in a matter of days or weeks. The entire process occurs at an unbelievable pace, add this to the fact that such men and women have been frustrated in their own countries and this is the result.
Thai men won't look twice at such Isaan women, nor would Egyptian women look twice at such Egyptian men, but they would certainly allow them to wash their cars.
Posts: 2418 | Registered: Nov 2007
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posted
My friends and i wonder when we see a pretty foreign woman walking with a less than ordinary Egyptian guy on the Nile or in zamalek or in sharm.
Cant she see that this guy is not considered a good Egyptian guy.
Why is she attracted to him! he doesn't seem to have a good job, he doesn't have a car and he doesn't seem to be from a good family!
Cant she notice that this guy isn't considered a good Egyptian guy compared to other Egyptian guys who have good education and are coming from good families and even from the way he dresses it shows that he is not form a good standard! while she is pretty, good looking, sexy, dressed in a nice way and seems decent!
I am beginning to believe that most foreigners are blind
Some egyptian guys are blind as well, you can find a decent, good egyptian guy from good family with a foreign woman who is not from the same standard!
Posts: 504 | Registered: Mar 2008
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quote:Originally posted by YoungEgyptianGuy: My friends and i wonder when we see a pretty foreign woman walking with a less than ordinary Egyptian guy on the Nile or in zamalek or in sharm.
Cant she see that this guy is not considered a good Egyptian guy.
Why is she attracted to him! he doesn't seem to have a good job, he doesn't have a car and he doesn't seem to be from a good family!
Cant she notice that this guy isn't considered a good Egyptian guy compared to other Egyptian guys who have good education and are coming from good families and even from the way he dresses it shows that he is not form a good standard! while she is pretty, good looking, sexy, dressed in a nice way and seems decent!
I am beginning to believe that most foreigners are blind
Some egyptian guys are blind as well, you can find a decent, good egyptian guy from good family with a foreign woman who is not from the same standard!
When you should travel to any Western country you would expierence the same problems. You are not able to classify people on their outer apperance, they way the speak, the words they use, they way they dress, their educational level, the level of the family etc.
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
why does a man have to have a car and an education to be a "good" person??? just because someone is poor doesn't mean they are bad!!
and how can you judge a person by just looking at him that he doesn't come from a good family or have a good job...i see lots of "educated" men driving in cars with a crappy fashion sense. if someone wears jeans and a t-shirt do you consider them bad???
you use the word "seem" a lot...i can understand if you actually talk to a person and hear their dialect, grammer, etc (but that would only give a clue as to their education level)...but to just look at someone and decide they are bad??? i think we had this discussion in another thread and as a westerner, no, i can't discern from an egyptian's speech if he is "low" class or not; but just because someone doesn't have an education or a car or dresses poorly, does NOT make that person bad. i lived in a village for 3 months and everyone was poor...concrete floors, 9 people in a 2-bedroom house...most were illiterate...but they were good, nice people. i'd rather be with poor, uneducated people who treat me nicely and are kind than with rich, educated people who look down on everyone.
-------------------- "It's very important to learn how to weasel out of things. It's what separates us from the animals...except the weasel." ~Homer J. Simpson Posts: 422 | From: American living in Maadi, visiting in the States for awhile | Registered: Jul 2006
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quote:Originally posted by YoungEgyptianGuy: My friends and i wonder when we see a pretty foreign woman walking with a less than ordinary Egyptian guy on the Nile or in zamalek or in sharm.
Cant she see that this guy is not considered a good Egyptian guy.
Why is she attracted to him! he doesn't seem to have a good job, he doesn't have a car and he doesn't seem to be from a good family!
Cant she notice that this guy isn't considered a good Egyptian guy compared to other Egyptian guys who have good education and are coming from good families and even from the way he dresses it shows that he is not form a good standard! while she is pretty, good looking, sexy, dressed in a nice way and seems decent!
I am beginning to believe that most foreigners are blind
Some egyptian guys are blind as well, you can find a decent, good egyptian guy from good family with a foreign woman who is not from the same standard!
Interesting perspective from an Egyptian guy. All foreigners are certainly not blind, but I see why you may have that view. Most foreigners visiting Egypt are not remotely interested in romantic relationships with Egyptian men. The vast majority go there simply as it is a wonderful, sunny, fascinating country. Most go with their families, husbands and/or friends. ES doesn't reflect that reality. I forgot to add that westerners take the social values from their culture and fail to see that the class and social structures in Egypt are very different. It's a simple culture clash.
Posts: 1157 | From: Censor - Edit - Delete, but you will never take away my FREEDOM! | Registered: Dec 2007
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posted
I think some people are ignorant enough to believe there isn't a difference in cultures. We as a people are a product of our environments. I would also like to add that some of these guys have a complex enough so that they will try to procure enough wealth from the western woman in order to amass enough to entice an Egyptian woman that denied him or would deny him.
This aspect of Egyptian society is an Egyptian thing, it is their culture and they are their rules. Poverty is a miserable thing, you expect an intelligent Egyptian woman to marry some low class guy that will give her a home in a mantiqah sha3beyeh, and where she would have to struggle day and night just to eat. As the homies would say 'nigga please'
Posts: 2418 | Registered: Nov 2007
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I asked this question, but I already knew the answer. But thanks anyway. I’ve been in Thailand a few years ago. And there are similarities in what’s happening in the Egyptian tourist areas as far as I can see. Funny enough, I met some male Western tourists that complained about how they were harassed by Thai women all the time. Even if they were with their wife or girlfriend.
Hé, real love sees no colours. (Isn’t that also a song title?) Doesn’t look at education, difference in class, family background, dress sense etc. But a man that asks a woman for money when they hardly know each other… And a woman is willingly giving it to him…
Posts: 119 | From: Where ever I lay my head... | Registered: Feb 2008
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posted
It's often uncomfortable for westerners to witness and deal with the social snobbery aspects of life in Egypt, as such behaviour is frowned upon in their own countries. On discovering this, you don't have to discard your principles, but by observing the social norms, it's possible to make a better evaluation of certain behaviours. By understanding what is considered normal, in Egyptian relationships, you are less likely to be 'blinded by love' as seeing the bigger picture can help.
Posts: 1157 | From: Censor - Edit - Delete, but you will never take away my FREEDOM! | Registered: Dec 2007
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posted
I would like to also add would a western woman agree to a life in which her husband brought home 500 L.E a month? Not enough for food and certainly no chance in hell to see any other part of the world and probably not 95% of Egypt.
Educated Egyptian women want an educated man to talk to, but add this an uneducated husband in addition to below poverty and you are asking an Egyptian woman to enter hell.
Posts: 2418 | Registered: Nov 2007
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Language that is spoken like low class brutish Egyptians
500 L.E a month where you can barely have enough to eat
No automatic dishwasher, no car, no proper furniture, no true vacations outside of Egypt (ever), no proper dental or health care, no proper education, no savings, etc etc
Go ahead and sign on this type of life! Here on the dotted line ……………………….
And while you're at it how is your love life, it easy to have an illusion of love when money is available to buy meals at restaurants and to afford the little things in life.
Posts: 2418 | Registered: Nov 2007
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posted
Personally, I have never considered finances with regard to relationships... but I have always had a career and enough money to have a good lifestyle. It's coincidence, not design, that I chose a husband with the means of earning a good living. Most Egyptian women simply do not have the luxury of independence or great career opportunities, (neither do many men) or the access to education that many westerners do. An uneducated man doesn't have the same opportunities to better himself, as he would in the west, which perhaps explains some of the class issues. This seems plain wrong, when seen through many western eyes, as we've struggled to get away from class systems and remove barriers. Egypt has quite some way to go, in this area.
Posts: 1157 | From: Censor - Edit - Delete, but you will never take away my FREEDOM! | Registered: Dec 2007
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quote:Originally posted by walkingathinline: why does a man have to have a car and an education to be a "good" person??? just because someone is poor doesn't mean they are bad!!
and how can you judge a person by just looking at him that he doesn't come from a good family or have a good job...i see lots of "educated" men driving in cars with a crappy fashion sense. if someone wears jeans and a t-shirt do you consider them bad???
you use the word "seem" a lot...i can understand if you actually talk to a person and hear their dialect, grammer, etc (but that would only give a clue as to their education level)...but to just look at someone and decide they are bad??? i think we had this discussion in another thread and as a westerner, no, i can't discern from an egyptian's speech if he is "low" class or not; but just because someone doesn't have an education or a car or dresses poorly, does NOT make that person bad. i lived in a village for 3 months and everyone was poor...concrete floors, 9 people in a 2-bedroom house...most were illiterate...but they were good, nice people. i'd rather be with poor, uneducated people who treat me nicely and are kind than with rich, educated people who look down on everyone.
You are right some very poor people are so kind, and so generous that they would share their only loaf of bread, with their guests.
But some people look at compatibility. Compatible in terms of education and in terms of culture - from the same type of upbringing, same type of environment.
Unfortunately there are bad people within all classes, as well as good people; but building a relationship with someone that is illiterate vs someone with a very high education, that is exposed to quality of life and that has an excellent future - is rare all over the world.
When youngegyptian guy talks about a 'good' guy he means someone that a woman can COUNT on, someone responsible, someone that would commit and someone that would have a word of honor. Someone that is an achiever, that has ambition, that would provide for his children the proper way.
There are some of these 'good' guys all over Egypt, but they may not be compatible to some of us, in terms of manners, upbringing, education, social class.
At the end of the day, it is the choice of every human being to decide who is a match, and who they prefer to spend their life with.
Most would opt for someone that would make one feel comfortable and content. Whichever choice we make, we are all free to make it, as adults and as people that know what they want, and who they really are.
Posts: 919 | Registered: Aug 2007
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"Unfortunately there are bad people within all classes, as well as good people; but building a relationship with someone that is illiterate vs someone with a very high education, that is exposed to quality of life and that has an excellent future - is rare all over the world"
Even today, in the west, people tend to marry within their socio-economic groups, so I see what Almaz means. There is a difference in western expectation though and the middle class is far wider. Someone from a poor economic background can access education. Liberal folks wouldn't perceive a lack of education as a lack of intelligence, merely an opportunity to improve one's life. Snobbery is found in most countries, but westerners seem more shocked when they find it in Egypt... partly because they expect the rich to have more compassion for the poor, is my guess.
Posts: 1157 | From: Censor - Edit - Delete, but you will never take away my FREEDOM! | Registered: Dec 2007
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You walk out of your apartment on the 13th floor which reaches 120F degrees during summer and with no A/C to stairs that are littered with trash. Oh an no elevator – you walk outside and the sewer is over flooding and a man on a donkey selling donkey kofta and watch your feet from the manure.
You then go to the grocery store and you buy soap by the kilogram that is of the lowest grade possible, you also buy 1/2 kilogram of expired pasta. then you go to the souq and you buy the over ripened tomatoes in order to save 3 American pennies because they do add up as you need to save for a blouse.
And on the way home you see your best friend who listened to her parents and married an engineer drive by in her Honda civic, smiling with her two beautiful children in the back seat
I think you should have listened to mama and papa when they told don’t marry your broke ass 500 L.E a month earning husband. The thing is this life wouldn’t be out of place for some women who were born into such a life, but of course this doesn’t apply to you because you have no business in such a life.
Posts: 2418 | Registered: Nov 2007
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