Now Mystic has taken the jigsaw pieces she has obviously been getting during this marriage and is putting them together and seeing the bigger picture of what she married.
Bubbles is right, she couldnt listen before but bits of the jigsaw lodged in the back of her brain and are coming out now. I have been in exactly the same place, no matter how many tell you hes an arse you see a hero, until you reach the point she is now and sees he is in fact an arse. The other woman is just another victim of his, I feel sorry for her as soon she will be in Mystics shoes, there are probably many others. Now Mystic will start to heal, she knows she is better off, I hope.
I can see how some may be angry with her now, the 'we told you so' people, and I agree to a point but I think she knows that and knew that when she posted here. Fact is she didnt listen and learned for herself, im like that too, have to make my own mistakes.
I love the idea about creating havoc on a tour, I have been spitting at Spring Tours buses for a while now anyway
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Makbeta: True. True. True.
Now BREAK the pattern so that your children won't 'copy' you in the future, which they might do subconsciously.
They say that children of alcoholics often become alcoholics themselves. Children who were beaten by parents often resort to corporal punishment themselves when they are adults. The chain must be broken. And the first step is to realise and admit that there is something wrong with ... ME.
So true. This point can't be emphasized enough, your daughter WILL copy you, so think of what you want her to be like and be that.
Posts: 6335 | From: Straight to my heart. | Registered: Sep 2007
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omigosh (in response to playing the field while with you). please get a set of std tests mystic. i can just imagine the attitude toward condom use in a marriage with an egyptian man (let alone a supposedly "good muslim" man who's not a "player")
IF his new *ahem* of his is reading this, please don't be so stupid as to not MAKE HIM PUT ON a condom. Even if all this is a lie. Just be safe, not sorry five years from now.
You ladies may get more than a broken heart if you don't protect your bodies.
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: Alhamdulillah she has seen the light!!!!! I can see how some may be angry with her now, the 'we told you so' people, and I agree to a point but I think she knows that and knew that when she posted here. Fact is she didnt listen and learned for herself, im like that too, have to make my own mistakes. I love the idea about creating havoc on a tour, I have been spitting at Spring Tours buses for a while now anyway
Totally agree with you Ayisha, save for the fact that Mystic has now told us about the THIRD BAD MAN who has devastated her world IN A ROW, with TWO of the last ones being long-distance webcam relationships with Egyptians.
Where exactly has she "seen the light"? Because she's recognized this one is a jerk, finally?
That's not going to break her cycle.
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8: < she was in california when he arranged her tickets to come>
Mystic...does this mean he bought her flight tickets and not yours?????
She gave him a credit card number that one could not be validated so he called and got another.. have no idea if he sent her the money ahead of time or not ,, i just know that he used a card from her to start with, then her fathers card. Lawyer is investigating that part as well for court to see what western unions were sent in his name other than to me in the last 6 months.
Posts: 2410 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Mar 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: Alhamdulillah she has seen the light!!!!! I can see how some may be angry with her now, the 'we told you so' people, and I agree to a point but I think she knows that and knew that when she posted here. Fact is she didnt listen and learned for herself, im like that too, have to make my own mistakes. I love the idea about creating havoc on a tour, I have been spitting at Spring Tours buses for a while now anyway
Totally agree with you Ayisha, save for the fact that Mystic has now told us about the THIRD BAD MAN who has devastated her world IN A ROW, with TWO of the last ones being long-distance webcam relationships with Egyptians.
Where exactly has she "seen the light"? Because she's recognized this one is a jerk, finally?
That's not going to break her cycle.
I do need to clarify something in that as well. One of the 3 egyptian men i was with was not a bad man. No things didnt go perfectly , but , he was always honest with me at least. No, not Momen. But, that one was a very good man. He just changed from wanting marriage and to live here with me 5 years ago , to not wanting to live in the states. With him, I understand his reasons and for a time i fooled myself into thinking that i could do just the visits and be ok with no marriage. Over time i just wanted more and he couldnt offer more. He was and still is my best friend. I left him behind and didnt speak to him for more than a year now out of respect to my husband, however, he and I have started talking a while ago again. NO I AM NOT getting involved with him, he and I have been down that road now 3 times, we both care about each other greatly, but we know that at this point in our lives neither can give the other what we truly want, but we can however be wonderful close friends. He has been a huge huge help to me through all of this. As always, he has been the only person that knows just what to say to me to reach me and keep me sane. 2 were bad men, this one wasnt, just couldnt give me what i needed and wanted me there for him even though he knew he couldnt be what i needed.
Posts: 2410 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Mar 2005
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What a sleaze bag!! You are so lucky that you didn't invest another more time or money in this creep. Don't waste another moment's thought on him.
Posts: 206 | Registered: Mar 2007
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Pardon me for saying this but why would you spend time and money on a lawyer trying to "right" this wrong. Do you really have the money! I don't understand why he married you? What is he getting out of this? If he has moved on to another person, he is not going to move to the US with her either. Have you been giving him money Mystic! What is he gaining from all this. Sex, maybe! But why get married. He can get that anyway. Visa, he has obviously had the opportunity to get visas before with other woman! Money, maybe....someone has to be giving him money. I think there is more to this then meets the eye. Don't spend anymore time or money on him Mystic. You will just get hurt even more and then be broke on top of it.
Posts: 206 | Registered: Mar 2007
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I didnt give him money, he never would accept it from me and always got upset with me if i took money out of the bank to spend instead of asking him for money. He was very insistant that i not spend anything. Things do happen, i dont think all of this is what he intended from the start,, just with all the pressure of everything and her coming along, well the grass looked greener i think, its ok. he can go on, i dont need him. Some where out there is some one that actually deserves me,, i know that sounds soo conceited and i truly dont think i am better than anyone but i do know that i always give my best to everyone, but i do demand respect as well. I give many chances to them if i find i am not being respected, i state what i want, i compromise, but i guess some see it as being pushy. Yorkie can tell everyone how much i give and how much he was my life, i didnt do him wrong, so, if he feels he wants to go , then go, his loss, whatever.
posted
Mystic, why you didn't say straight out what happened?? It would have been so much easier to understand everything.
Anyway, be angry right now, but also clear everything in your favor, move on and never look back.
As I said earlier you don't deserve such a creep. Him and this other woman are both such losers in the whole thing and it won't last as someone previously projected out.
You deserve so much better and you know it. But seriously I would stay away from internet relationships from now on .... meet someone in real life in your area, don't rush into anything rather take your time to get to know someone well before making any plans.
Good luck and head up.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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Now everyone please dont misunderstand me, I am not saying that he is a 'good guy', but dont you think all of this reaction is a little one sided? He's now been written off as a cheat, fraud, money grabber, scammer, maybe has aids, lier.
He may well be all those things, but equally he may not be some of them. It is usual when people break up for someone to think the worst about someone else, but is it necessary? otherwise imagination run away with us and pretty soon he will be an axe murder too. I dont personally think that it helps Mystic to think that she has been scammed, that he always had bad intentions, that he never loved her, whatever...no one knows all of that.
Perhaps i am wrong and maybe he is all these things, I just think it IS easy to get a bit carried away. I'm not saying that his involvement with this other woman is right, AT ALL, but that just makes him a cheat, if thats what he has done. Pity he hasnt come on here to put his side of the story, because this has turned into a bit of a mothers meeting IMO.
Posts: 918 | From: Earth | Registered: Jan 2008
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Whatever the man may be or might have been, it does not matter to her, it does not matter to us. Everybody with a bit of knowledge about Egypt and Egyptians know these things happen, and those men exist. Everybody with a bit of rationalism knows the risk of being scammed is high. Everybody with a bit of expierence knows how to recognise them, people don't even have to be in a m/f relationship to get scammed, it happens in all forms and does exist in many ways. Just the fact being western and probably ready for offering benefits is enough. Anybody with a bit of expierence in the whole culture knows when to be cautius... Egyptians themselves are having a rather black and white view on that: people out of a certain class that are trying to get in contact only will do that when they think there is something to get for them...so: be carefull!! And the strange thing is, we are not used to spit on people just because they belong to a lower class, but after time, you're going to notice that you are doing exactly the same! Just because you're sick and tired of people who are trying to get in contact to benefit themselves, not because they like you that much. You'll start to think: Go away, I don't feel any need to talk with losers like you, or: Do I really have to talk with this dumbo? Not very respectfull, but it is exactly the same as they have in mind about you. They don't act like that, they act very respectfull. They accept behaviour from you what they would not ever accept from any Egyptian woman. Not because of respect, but because of the benefits they have in mind. I expect the whole western world will fall over me, with such opinions, but it really what I have expierenced. Most people I meet in Egypt I really don't want to know. Because they are not the ones they pretend to be. And they are thinking exactly the same about me...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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I just wish you loads of love and luck Mystic. I really hope i will see you back here again. i know it will take time. I do hope you will soon start to move on. It sounds like you are making a bit progress. I know for sure anyone that will have you in the future will be a very lucky man. hugs xxxxxxxxx
quote:Originally posted by mysticheart: I didnt give him money, he never would accept it from me and always got upset with me if i took money out of the bank to spend instead of asking him for money. He was very insistant that i not spend anything. Things do happen, i dont think all of this is what he intended from the start,, just with all the pressure of everything and her coming along, well the grass looked greener i think, its ok. he can go on, i dont need him. Some where out there is some one that actually deserves me,, i know that sounds soo conceited and i truly dont think i am better than anyone but i do know that i always give my best to everyone, but i do demand respect as well. I give many chances to them if i find i am not being respected, i state what i want, i compromise, but i guess some see it as being pushy. Yorkie can tell everyone how much i give and how much he was my life, i didnt do him wrong, so, if he feels he wants to go , then go, his loss, whatever.
Well, you gave him what then? Marriage, sex, companionship, hope of coming to America? What did he give you? Where was your respect? How did he show his intentions to you?
I really don't think giving respect until someone seems to not deserve it is the best thing, they earn it first and then you give it.
I must agree with what was said earlier, men really do gravitate to those who have more self-respect, who demand more and don't put up with any crap. I'm not talking about being kind and sweet, you can be those things and still stand up for yourself. It seems that while you DO SEEM TO BE a kind person, that you have a dilemma within yourself that tells you that you can't be strong and be kind, too. BULL.
God wants you to be good and kind, yes, but he also wants you stand up for yourself and demand that people treat you better. YOU REALLY DO TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU. The very fact that you knew about his past and the things you were shown on ES about him prior to coming here anyway and marrying him and then sitting by while he purchased tickets for another girl and believed him...well I can't help but think this...why do you not like yourself? What is it about MH that you don't like? It really seems like you do things and make choices that hurt YOU. Of course he has his own responsibility in all of this, but if you chose to marry a man when all of those facts were put before you about him and then wanted to play the GOOD WIFE WHO CAN COMPROMISE AND BE KIND AND GIVE LOTS OF CHANCES...I must ask - what did he give you? Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by yorkshire rose: I really hope i will see you back here again.
I know you mean it good, Yorkie, I just hope she won't come to Egypt for a man next time.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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Put the bottle down, finally got somethin’ to say Take another look around and find someone else to play Needless to say .. That you’ve got problems There’s no fukin’ way .. that I’m gonna solve them It’s never the same .. every time you slip, then you fall down, down, down
Ever wonder what I been thinkin’ about? I been thinkin’ bout throwin’ you out
I’m so happy about you .. I’m fed up, so get up and get out I’m so happy now we’re through .. I’m fed up, so get up and get out I was so afraid, now you’re gone away Sent you packing, look who’s laughin’ now I’m so happy that I feel this way I’m so happy that I threw you away
Put your problems down and pick up what’s left of the pain Take a good look at yourself and see who’s really to blame Needless to say .. you got issues There’s no fukin’ way .. that I’m gonna fix you
It’s never the same .. ever since you went fallin’ down, down, down
Ever wonder what I been thinkin’ about? I been thinkin’ bout throwin’ you out
I’m so happy about you .. I’m fed up, so get up and get out I’m so happy now we’re through .. I’m fed up, so get up and get out I was so afraid, now you’re gone away Sent you packing, look who’s laughin’ now I’m so happy that I feel this way I’m so happy that I threw you away
I’m so happy about you .. I’m fed up, so get up and get out I’m so happy now we’re through .. I’m fed up, so get up and get out I was so afraid, now you’re gone away Sent you packing, look who’s laughin’ now I’m so happy that I feel this way I’m so happy that I threw you away
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: Alhamdulillah she has seen the light!!!!! I can see how some may be angry with her now, the 'we told you so' people, and I agree to a point but I think she knows that and knew that when she posted here. Fact is she didnt listen and learned for herself, im like that too, have to make my own mistakes. I love the idea about creating havoc on a tour, I have been spitting at Spring Tours buses for a while now anyway
Totally agree with you Ayisha, save for the fact that Mystic has now told us about the THIRD BAD MAN who has devastated her world IN A ROW, with TWO of the last ones being long-distance webcam relationships with Egyptians.
Where exactly has she "seen the light"? Because she's recognized this one is a jerk, finally?
That's not going to break her cycle.
I do need to clarify something in that as well. One of the 3 egyptian men i was with was not a bad man. No things didnt go perfectly , but , he was always honest with me at least. No, not Momen. But, that one was a very good man. He just changed from wanting marriage and to live here with me 5 years ago , to not wanting to live in the states. With him, I understand his reasons and for a time i fooled myself into thinking that i could do just the visits and be ok with no marriage. Over time i just wanted more and he couldnt offer more. He was and still is my best friend. I left him behind and didnt speak to him for more than a year now out of respect to my husband, however, he and I have started talking a while ago again. NO I AM NOT getting involved with him, he and I have been down that road now 3 times, we both care about each other greatly, but we know that at this point in our lives neither can give the other what we truly want, but we can however be wonderful close friends. He has been a huge huge help to me through all of this. As always, he has been the only person that knows just what to say to me to reach me and keep me sane. 2 were bad men, this one wasnt, just couldnt give me what i needed and wanted me there for him even though he knew he couldnt be what i needed.
We Dont really care!! I think you need to get past your perception that you need to explain your mess of a life to us. We are people on the Internet. You are turning away all the "real" people who could support you and turning to a bunch of faceless strangers on the Internet to give you "support". WTF is wrong with this picture??? You dont turn to your best friend Tiff, or your family??? You seriously have to see how phucked up that is somewhere inside you-you have issues with reality. BIG TIME ISSUES!!!
However, since you seem to have some kind of brain fart going on I will point something out to you. If this second (or 3rd or 4th whatever, cant keep track )was such a "nice" guy why did he let you make a mistake and marry momen?? Why didnt he come to "rescue" you???
Im gonna tell you why-because he was just like momen only you are now trying to build something in your mind . You forget that you came here and told us THE VERY SAME THING ABOUT HIM!! (Que violins) I cant leave my mom,blah blah blah. You are so good at fooling yourself it really is unbelievable to watch. Christ, I know more about your life than I do my best friend, sisters and the woman who lives below me and I've never set eyes on you in my life. Never had a nice chit chat or girl talk. Don't you see something wrong with this?????
Face the facts-the other one is just as momen. They both just found a better meal ticket or maybe they just realized that your an emotional trainwreck. I had promised myself I wouldnt post anything in your narcissistic thread, so I guess Im just as guilty as your bunch of internet friends who encouraged you to "follow your heart" and Who defended your foolish decision even when proof that he was a player was put right in front of you.Anyone with any self preservation and self respect would have beat feet in the other direction as fast as their boots could take them!!!
So Just knock it off already,your play for sympathy is starting to wear real thin. GO TO A THERAPIST FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!!!
Posts: 1121 | From: Too crazy to look at a freakin map to find out.. | Registered: Sep 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: Alhamdulillah she has seen the light!!!!! I can see how some may be angry with her now, the 'we told you so' people, and I agree to a point but I think she knows that and knew that when she posted here. Fact is she didnt listen and learned for herself, im like that too, have to make my own mistakes. I love the idea about creating havoc on a tour, I have been spitting at Spring Tours buses for a while now anyway
Totally agree with you Ayisha, save for the fact that Mystic has now told us about the THIRD BAD MAN who has devastated her world IN A ROW, with TWO of the last ones being long-distance webcam relationships with Egyptians.
Where exactly has she "seen the light"? Because she's recognized this one is a jerk, finally?
That's not going to break her cycle.
I do need to clarify something in that as well. One of the 3 egyptian men i was with was not a bad man. No things didnt go perfectly , but , he was always honest with me at least. No, not Momen. But, that one was a very good man. He just changed from wanting marriage and to live here with me 5 years ago , to not wanting to live in the states. With him, I understand his reasons and for a time i fooled myself into thinking that i could do just the visits and be ok with no marriage. Over time i just wanted more and he couldnt offer more. He was and still is my best friend. I left him behind and didnt speak to him for more than a year now out of respect to my husband, however, he and I have started talking a while ago again. NO I AM NOT getting involved with him, he and I have been down that road now 3 times, we both care about each other greatly, but we know that at this point in our lives neither can give the other what we truly want, but we can however be wonderful close friends. He has been a huge huge help to me through all of this. As always, he has been the only person that knows just what to say to me to reach me and keep me sane. 2 were bad men, this one wasnt, just couldnt give me what i needed and wanted me there for him even though he knew he couldnt be what i needed.
We Dont really care!! I think you need to get past your perception that you need to explain your mess of a life to us. We are people on the Internet. You are turning away all the "real" people who could support you and turning to a bunch of faceless strangers on the Internet to give you "support". WTF is wrong with this picture??? You dont turn to your best friend Tiff, or your family??? You seriously have to see how phucked up that is somewhere inside you-you have issues with reality. BIG TIME ISSUES!!!
However, since you seem to have some kind of brain fart going on I will point something out to you. If this second (or 3rd or 4th whatever, cant keep track )was such a "nice" guy why did he let you make a mistake and marry momen?? Why didnt he come to "rescue" you???
Im gonna tell you why-because he was just like momen only you are now trying to build something in your mind . You forget that you came here and told us THE VERY SAME THING ABOUT HIM!! (Que violins) I cant leave my mom,blah blah blah. You are so good at fooling yourself it really is unbelievable to watch. Christ, I know more about your life than I do my best friend, sisters and the woman who lives below me and I've never set eyes on you in my life. Never had a nice chit chat or girl talk. Don't you see something wrong with this?????
Face the facts-the other one is just as momen. They both just found a better meal ticket or maybe they just realized that your an emotional trainwreck. I had promised myself I wouldnt post anything in your narcissistic thread, so I guess Im just as guilty as your bunch of internet friends who encouraged you to "follow your heart" and Who defended your foolish decision even when proof that he was a player was put right in front of you.Anyone with any self preservation and self respect would have beat feet in the other direction as fast as their boots could take them!!!
So Just knock it off already,your play for sympathy is starting to wear real thin. GO TO A THERAPIST FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!!!
::high five::
its alllll true. information overload over the internet - turn off your computer and get involved with whats really going on.
Posts: 1967 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
I dont want sympathy. My putting this here was first step to healing and getting this out of my system. Sure i find some support but most times i know that alot of people will come down on me. Fact is that no one can do anything to help me really unless they truly understand me. I have that one person that knows. I turn away from the family and Tiff because they just overload me, they feed me negative thoughts and i cant breathe when i talk to them. Momen didnt plan on this, i know he loved me, perhaps not now, but he did. But that doesnt change the fact that what he did was cruel and soo soo wrong. He should have ended this if that is what he wanted long ago, not wait and keep me believing he would be here. It just shows that when under alot of pressure he turns and walks away. My not being the quiet wife that will just turn and look the other way and demanding that i be known to EVERYONE that he talks to not just his family and the people he works with is what caused this, i pushed him, i cornered him. No its not my fault, he shouldnt have been talking to these people in the first place if they had interest in him or he them when he is married, in the very least it should have been made clear to them that he is married and unavailable but he didnt, he likes the attention, and well, yes i paid the price for it but in the long run, he is the one that looses. He lost more than just me.
quote:Originally posted by mysticheart: I dont want sympathy. My putting this here was first step to healing and getting this out of my system. Sure i find some support but most times i know that alot of people will come down on me. Fact is that no one can do anything to help me really unless they truly understand me. I have that one person that knows. I turn away from the family and Tiff because they just overload me, they feed me negative thoughts and i cant breathe when i talk to them. Momen didnt plan on this, i know he loved me, perhaps not now, but he did. But that doesnt change the fact that what he did was cruel and soo soo wrong. He should have ended this if that is what he wanted long ago, not wait and keep me believing he would be here. It just shows that when under alot of pressure he turns and walks away. My not being the quiet wife that will just turn and look the other way and demanding that i be known to EVERYONE that he talks to not just his family and the people he works with is what caused this, i pushed him, i cornered him. No its not my fault, he shouldnt have been talking to these people in the first place if they had interest in him or he them when he is married, in the very least it should have been made clear to them that he is married and unavailable but he didnt, he likes the attention, and well, yes i paid the price for it but in the long run, he is the one that looses. He lost more than just me.
Hi Mystic, I think the point people are trying to make is that- by you expressing all of your emotions and thoughts online about this situation- you're just running away from reality. If you family or friends feed you negative thoughts- maybe you should listen. Just because you don't want to hear something doesnt mean that its not right.
Its like the people on this website who encouraged you to enter into such a serious, and quick relationship with Momen- even though it was VERY obvious that he was a loser, a leech, and that he was just looking to mess around. And hes doing the same thing now,hes still a leech, he was from day one. He didnt CHANGE.Don't try and justify your relationship with him- don't try and justify HIM- he sucks. He sucked from the beginning.
I think it would be better for you to take comfort in your family and in your friends. To go out and live! Forget about ES. You shouldn't even be talkig to Half the people on here who encouraged you to enter your relationship as haphazardly as you did. It was irresponsible, naive, and stupid, quite honestly- not just on your part.
Maybe it hurts to hear these things, but sometimes we just need a good slap in the face to wake us up!
Don't come on here seeking advice or comfort from these same people!
You must have other friends you can speak to. Honestly- if I were you- I'd make a date with a girlfriend. Go get coffee, or lunch, or watch a movie. Become more social. Its a type of healing in itself.
Posts: 1967 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2006
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I know its really none of my business and yes I dont know him or you personally - but are you SURE he ever loved you??!?!?! Doesnt sound like it ............
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I really think MH you should find out what REAL love is...it's a hellofva lot better than what you have been settling for. I don't know what you have been settling for, but someone saying they love you is a lot different from seeing ACTIONS of someone loving you. In the end, you've just gotta love yourself and stop worrying IF he will ever or did ever love you. I will tell you, NO he never loved you...if you take that personally you shouldn't. It should help you to let go, knowing that you are letting go of something that never really WAS. IF he loved you he wouldn't have led you on, he wouldn't have schmoozed up to your kids (gag), he wouldn't have let you go around telling EVERYONE, friends, family, kids, people online that he was coming and then not blink an eye at letting you think mommy wants him to stay while he's shacking up with Ms. California. Honey, open your eyes. His mom never knew you were married, he never would have been a good husband anyway, and in the end, you should cut your losses and find how to love YOURSELF...it's much stronger and you can always depend on it. Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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"His mom never knew you were married" I asked that question she said here she did ,the story changes i would say to her get yourself together have a rest and find a good old fashioned American if your muslim i know there are some wonderful texan men looking for a lovely american muslim lady .But first take a good year or two out and then if your up to it stay on own grown turf . Good luck .
-------------------- Full of Milk Posts: 220 | From: Little Egypt in Rural England | Registered: Feb 2008
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"His mom never knew you were married" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Of course we don't know, but knowing the culture a bit, I assume this men is telling a lot of tales to his family. Somebody ever been by negotiations concerning marriages and break-ups between two families? I can assure this, it's not a case of saying "I devorce you" and the family agrees... It's more drama as an opera, and it certainly takes more time! In fact it's a stageplay with many characters, with anger, impressing, provoking, tricks, hypocricy, doublefacedness, and all under the protectance from God almighty...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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1) HOW and why do your friend and family give you 'bad thoughts'?? What do they say exactly to make you feel it is negative input for you??
2) ARE you going to get therapy now?? Simple yes or no will suffice as an answer...
Actually, I already know the answers (wanna bet?? I can write it down now already, so you know I won't make it up later) to both questions, but it would be enlightening to hear it from you....
Nonetheless, take care of you!! Love, Bubble
Posts: 144 | From: Egypt/Europe | Registered: Nov 2006
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This thread is not getting any better. -------------------------------------------------
This is not about the thread getting better - though IT IS 'getting better', since to the clear cut point now, instead of sympathetic meaninglessness - but MYSTIC getting better, ie. taking the chance now to sort out her life...
If you want to believe this will be best achieved if we all say 'oh, boohoo, sadsadsad, but Neverland is a real good place to be, carry on' - hmm, better scrap the second part of this sentence...
You mean well, but that is neither appropriate nor appreciated by the recipient, me thinks.
Best to you, Bubble
Posts: 144 | From: Egypt/Europe | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
I think MH is on a lose-lose here. Some are telling her to stop posting her dramas and others are asking her questions and want to hear from her.
I really think we should leave her be now and let this thread go.
Hopefully she will get the help and support she needs elsewhere.
posted
happybunny, i think the questions that are being asked are about her welfare, her seeking help, her her her. what she posts about is him him him.
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
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posted
For Mystic posting here and getting different comments and points of view IS therapy of a kind, not professional I know but it is therapy. Before professional people came along people with problems would talk to friends about it and hopefuly have enough friends with different thoughts and opinions to help them sort themselves out, a bit like writing something down making you feel better, a letter to a dead relative getting out what you never had time to say.
She is taking in all sides of whats said and its working away inside her head and inshaAllah some will bed in and grow as i think it has been doing. I think everything said here has great merit, all sides, all opinions, all ways of 'snapping her out of it', its all having some effect and something will work.
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
Whatever happened 2 once bitten twice shy??? Happens once, no biggie, happens twice, biggie, happens three times, time to call the men in white cloaks!!!!!! This on going saga is soapie. Some people just never learn, they enjoy hitting their heads against a brick wall. This reads more like a fairy tale with a lot of spin, lol, a few presidents could use a spin dr like this one, who knows if this story is true or not, I find it hard to believe, I think it is an attention seeking exercise
Posts: 564 | From: planet earth | Registered: Jan 2008
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posted
I understand what you mean but when i read things like "why did you post this" on one post and then on another "why don't you talk to us" i just think she can't win.
I personally think she is in denial about him and hopefully you are right Ayisha and she takes these comments as a kind of therapy.
So sorry, but I simply can't jump over these plainly unrealistic, dreamland statements of yours -
quote: but i do demand respect as well.
quote: Oooh, muwhhhahahaha, excuse me while I have the laugh of the day... WHEN exactly is that then??
I give many chances to them if i find i am not being respected
quote: And just how long did it take for you IN ANY of these relationships to find you are not respected, and what - how much hurt - did it take?? What did you do as a result?? Get help, learn how to respect yourself, and get same from others in HEALTHY relationships?? Or instantenously you were off looking for a new knight in shining armour to fight your battles and make it aaaall good??
, i state what i want, i compromise, but i guess some see it as being pushy
PUSHY??? Pushy??? YOU, the 'Let me adore any man who comes my way giving me time of day, who cares he's an utter waste of time, I need to devote myself to a man' lady claims to be 'pushy' with the subject of adoration... (Now here I cry, this self-delusion is just too much!!). NEEDY I can see full well - incidentally, never anything better to chase any man away!! - but pushy?? What's more, with one of your beloveds, you'd have us believe?? Unfortunately, only thing I can see you getting 'pushy' over is if someone wanted to physically drag you to a doctor - 'Noooo, I do not need to go, all is well, all is well, stomp my foot, next one will make roses bloom, the sun shine and violins play forevermore'....
Mystic, I know that sounds really hard and you will not like it - but think about it!!! There is SUCH an obvious discrepancy between your VIEW of yourself / how you would like to be, and THE WAY YOU ARE (proven through your actions), it's pitiful - and as long as this image of yourself and reality do not meet somewhere, you will continue to have serious problems. Haven't you had ENOUGH ALREADY in your life???
Sincerely hoping you feel better, and rational, too, soon!! Hugs and best wishes, Bubble
PS. Now MY comments appear as quotes, not yours... How does one do this??
Posts: 144 | From: Egypt/Europe | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
Well, partly that's the price a person pays for too hasty decisions, without enough thought of the consequences. We all make mistakes, no one is immune - we learn this way - but sometimes you have to think more than twice - especially if children come into play.
One more thing, self-deception is a grave enemy - it's not only time-consuming, but also fruitless. What this man might think in the future (read: regret) is up to the stars. I used to waste lots of my precious time myself in the past. Damn.
Posts: 2807 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007
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posted
This is my last comment because I don't think Mystic is even listening to us. She is just waiting for another loser to come along that "deserves her". I am getting mad now and this will probably be mean. No man would want you Mystic!! You could very well spend the rest of your life without a man!! What do you think about that! If it sends shockwaves through your system, then you need to decide "how much do I want a relationship (a good one) and work on being the type of person that a good man would love!!! That means being a separate person with your own interests, life perspectives and who VALUES HERSELF. Do you get this at all, if you don't please don't waste anymore airtime on your problems. It really is too much!!
Posts: 206 | Registered: Mar 2007
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Patience, patience, hopefully in due time... It is, after all, quite something to happen and to take in and get over - this all coupled with breaking the (self-destructive) habits of a lifetime does not happen overnight, never mind just how deliriously happy that would make many of us... AND make Mystic happy, too, ultimately...
As for the next loser (oops, knight) this is what Mystic said 5 days ago -
quote:I do know he has condemned me to life alone by walking away. Where i live there are no muslim men, no single ones at all, the women often talk of the fact there is no one to marry, unless you bring them from outside, and I cant move from this area, kids have to come first and right now, they have both me and their father in their lives pretty much daily cause we live around the same area. I know no one will want to move here to be with me.
Phew, relief, goodie, goodie, goodie - no immediate real life danger then...
And though you, dear Mystic, finished that statement with 'I can't think of anyone else anyway', as I commented some days ago already, it is MOST ALARMING that you even had those thoughts so immediately after the break, in fact, once you had not even yet acknowledged to yourself that there was indeed a break for good - once again, it shows your ole, trusted pattern of getting on with the search again...
Which is just about the LAST thing on earth you need right now, how many more failures do you want before you see that this UNRESOLVED way of hopping from one to the next is NOOOOOT working and will never do so?? So PLEASE stay away from all charmers on the net!!
Whether 'therapy in a way' as our dear Ayisha says, or perhaps a 'holding up the mirror' so flaws in thinking can be seen, some of it here is surely taking hold in small steps...
Aside from that, I have to agree with the essence of your post, dear Sparkle!! So you see, Mystic - you want a GOOD man one day, SORT YOURSELF OUT!!!
posted
His family did know we were married. His sister and i talked quite alot. They also know he has left me of course, and other details that i havent shared with all of you here. That i am not saying because of a bit of old fashioned superstition. No the bit is not something that is particularly good news, and is the reason he suddenly wants nothing to do with me any further, again running from his responsibilities is what he is best at. Anyway, I am ok, no, at the moment i am not looking to get involved. I am in the process of letting go and given my circumstances i cant just go and get involved anyway. I am starting to branch out a bit and try to find friends here in the states to get to know for the future. But as for being with anyone, no. I just cant trust and am really not in a hurry.
posted
the fact of the matter is you were played. All he talked about was getting his visa to my husband and I talked to you about that. He is probibly on his way or here in the U.S. right now. Khairy says he will not stay in egypt one minute after receiving his visa. He has the money and works with travel agents. People need to pay attention to the red flags and not ignore them because the outcome is you will be hurt.
Posts: 1369 | From: California | Registered: Aug 2007
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posted
He turned down the visa, that has been verified.And if it hadnt been the case, I would have contacted homeland security to have him blocked at entry.
Posts: 2410 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
I know how much you cared about him and I am so sorry for your hurt. These relationships are not easy and please take my advice and find a american man when you are healed.
Posts: 1369 | From: California | Registered: Aug 2007
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What did he give you? Where was your respect? How did he show his intentions to you? ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
)was such a "nice" guy why did he let you make a mistake and marry momen?? Why didnt he come to "rescue" you??? ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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