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More than I will ever get for sure. One day he will look back and regret what he did to me more than he already does. He will see that he should have never let me go and that no one will ever be as good to him as i was.
quote:Originally posted by mysticheart: One day he will look back and regret what he did to me more than he already does. He will see that he should have never let me go and that no one will ever be as good to him as i was.
Mystic, that's what you like to think. But fact is you don't deserve such a creep. You have to think about yourself now, how to end this drama without getting too much humilated and hurt.
Is he really having another woman in his life???? Now I am getting mad!! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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Ha, i can give her name, her link to her facebook and more. And i did message her before she went to egypt and let her know that we are married and all that and i had no problems with him having friends and she responded rather curiously... but now that she is there and his behavior has suddenly changed to sooo cold and short with me and the fact that she is using the phone line for the mobile i had when i was there, ha, yeah, i know what is going on..
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Maybe one thing that will comfort you: She only will be abused, as so many others have been abused. She is having no problems with knowing you as the wife of and get involved with the mr., it only will be temporary.
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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What a RAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Name her and shame her MH. Spill it.
Posts: 1808 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2006
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The guy is a creep and jerk. . .plain and simple. I can't believe as a good Muslim he's shacking up with another woman when he's married to someone else. Better you found out now than to get him to the states & he takes all you have before you find out he's cheating on the side, too, and embarrassing you in front of your whole community. Talk about giving Muslims a bad reputation.
I'll be going to Cairo in May. . .want me to pay a visit? Maybe I can take a tour with him and then <bam!>. . .let him have a piece of my mind in front of everyone. Wow. . .that's a thought. . .hey, Momen. . .if you're reading this, be aware that you just never know when one of the people on one of your tours is going to go mental on you. Posts: 370 | From: Other side of reality | Registered: Dec 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Bonzo: The guy is a creep and jerk. . .plain and simple. I can't believe as a good Muslim he's shacking up with another woman when he's married to someone else. Better you found out now than to get him to the states & he takes all you have before you find out he's cheating on the side, too, and embarrassing you in front of your whole community. Talk about giving Muslims a bad reputation.
I'll be going to Cairo in May. . .want me to pay a visit? Maybe I can take a tour with him and then <bam!>. . .let him have a piece of my mind in front of everyone. Wow. . .that's a thought. . .hey, Momen. . .if you're reading this, be aware that you just never know when one of the people on one of your tours is going to go mental on you.
I mean, c'mon! Laura posted links where this guy was trawling on the net for any foreign bride. How many vowels do you need to buy before you get a clue?
This has nothing to do with that sleazebag mystic and frankly I had forgotten what I wrote on that post myself a year ago. It's really sad to be right but again, that's got nothing to do with your husband and everything to do with you.
You simply love being the victim and it's as awful to watch as a bloody car crash.
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
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quote:Originally posted by mysticheart: Ha, i can give her name, her link to her facebook and more. And i did message her before she went to egypt and let her know that we are married and all that and i had no problems with him having friends and she responded rather curiously... but now that she is there and his behavior has suddenly changed to sooo cold and short with me and the fact that she is using the phone line for the mobile i had when i was there, ha, yeah, i know what is going on..
I'd do it. You should send her a link to this website as well.
Posts: 1967 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2006
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While I agree with you in part - foolish, soppy, blindly romantic internet friends and too much defense - it is not right to blame Mystic now... Neither will it do much good, what's done is done, point is, how she reacts NOW!!
And why is it not right?? Because I swear to you (long distance diagnosis based on many writings, I'm certain enough it's accurate, so there) that in Mystic's condition AT THE TIME there was nothing else she could do. Do not treat this as a 'normal' situation with two rational, well-balanced people, it was anything but. Yes, she had lots of good advice and warnings, however, again due to then prevailing state she LITERALLY COULD NOT hear any of that. Would have needed a person on the spot to force her to immediate treatment, not possible from us. So, yeah, this was not good, but NOT actually her fault, if you see what I mean.
Anyhow, thing now is what Mystic will take and learn from this, and signs are hopeful...
No offense meant to you, dear Expat, but ill people just ARE different..
Dear Mystic!!
I am proud of you that you ARE now seeing things as they are - no longer making excuses, but recognising this and him for what it is. VERY well done!! In a way absolutely dreadful, on the other hand, now that you know this, you can see how misplaced any affection and sadness was / is - which means that you WILL be able to put this behind you so much quicker...
Calling lawyers instead of throwing cushions is - WOW!!! Yep, your strength is coming to the forefront, cheer, cheer, cheering, you are facing and tackling things, fantastic!!!
And on the visa - that worries me for sponsor - I am not sure how it works in the US, but in Europe you (sponsor) would need to write (not only e-mail, post with real signature) to Embassy and Immigration Control that you WITHDRAW the sponsorship forthwith, in which case the visa will be immediately cancelled. To avoid any future problems, it is imperative to put it on record with the authorities BEFORE he should enter the US that sponsorship is withdrawn - just in case he slips through... Also, a withdrawal requires a response from Embassy, so do let them know!! (By e-mail, while you express the signed letter).
Hope that all goes well, hang in there, continue like this!!! Much love, Bubble
Posts: 144 | From: Egypt/Europe | Registered: Nov 2006
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bubbles, you're very sweet but if you read through the previous posts, you will notice mystic sought people in a similar situation to hers and made friends with those posters and together with some kind hearted folk on ES, she received lots and lots of blind encouragement and support. She also received some harsh posts to shake and wake her.
She's made bad decisions and now she's getting support to the tune of...at least you found out now.
WTF. Seriously. She found out before she married him about his character and she still married him.
I applaud you for your efforts and I criticize people who know her in real life for NOT dragging this woman's behind to a professional counselor.
Those poor kids are going to be so screwed up!
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
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quote:Originally posted by ExptinCAI: I'm sorry, but I'm not angry with him, I'm angry with YOU, mystic.
It was clear from his posts alone that he was a sleaze that was so slick, satellites could spot him.
So many posters wrote this. It was YOU YOU YOU who defended him to death, with your supportive posse of internet friends.
Stop focusing on what a jerk HE is, and start focusing on WHY YOU CHOOSE TO BE IN RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN WHO ARE CLEARLY BELOW YOU.
GET PROFESSIONAL HELP.
ps And don't you dare play the victim card on us anymore with these posts.
You chose not to listen to good advice for a reason and it's time you did some self-examining.
So true, unfortunately. Don't make it in vain anymore MH, learn from it and get SMART.
I also agree about the kids. If MH was smart she would also put the kids in therapy ASAP. As much as she may not think they are affected, TRUST ME I'm sure they are. Again, involving kids in adult situations is cruel. Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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She's made bad decisions and now she's getting support to the tune of...at least you found out now.
while i agree and understand why you are saying what you are, this is true ExptinCAI, because even though people may have told her these things in the past, she believed that she knew him better, and maybe she did, so even those close to her would not have been able to tell her. In fact those close to her seemed to say he was a 'doting' husband. I dont know, i've never met either of them, I can only comment on what is said here, but at least she has witnessed certain things for herself now that have made her see him in a different light.
As you say, sometimes people dont want to see the truth, there are lots of people like that on this board, and they have their own reasons for wanting to be hopeful, I agree that people need to love themselves first rather than looking to someone else to fulfil them, but people get hooked on needing others, whether as a result of societal pressure, experiences or habit, so in a sense they are still victims. Posts: 918 | From: Earth | Registered: Jan 2008
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contact the embassy for visa fraud and make sure he won't ever move to the usa let alone even visit.
Posts: 253 | From: canuk | Registered: Feb 2008
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MH, like Bubbles said, you must write a letter to USCIS and DOS to withdraw your petition and support papers. Please do this ASAP! Make an infopass appointment at your local USCIS center ASAP. Take a copy of the letter with you. Make your intentions known to anyone who will listen. Do not let this man enter the US with a fraudulent visa. We don't need more garbage here.
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
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Civil society, dont you think that is a bit harsh?
O.k so maybe this man is not as good a muslim as he ought to be, maybe he's a womaniser, maybe he lies, and he has let mystic heart down badly.
But he hasn't committed a crime, maybe he changed his mind and is none of the above, who really knows - only him and God.
people break up everyday, it shouldnt stop them leaving the country in the future or even give them a bad name for life.
Posts: 918 | From: Earth | Registered: Jan 2008
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I know, I know, dear Expat, and yes, this has been like watching a car with no brakes going downhill speedily, just heartbreaking / worrying / infuriating... The soppy 'friends' should feel ever so bad and guilty now - and hopefully learned to never, ever give 'advice' again - as for the 'harsh posts', some of them were from me, too, of which I now (seemingly cruelly, had to be done to 'move' something) reminded Mystic, in the hope she may now agree with the (desperate) NEED for therapy..
Because, big, fat YES, as soon as the practical things here (visa etc) are sorted, looking at WHY one acts so, is still the number one thing which WILL turn life around if you, Mystic, only do it...
Still, all blaming her now and making her feel bad and silly is not going to get her to go - by the way, Mystic, a therapist will NEVER tell you that, they only help for you to come to your own conclusions and know yourself far, far better. No need to be scared!!
But yeah, let's critise all those around in real life who just stood by, irresponsible 'friends'..
However, credit must now be given where it is due - our Mystic IS holding up far better than last time round, the anger, insight and actual taking concrete steps IS GREAT!!!! Keep it up...
Love to you, Expat, and yes, I appreciate where you are coming from.. To you love as well, dear Mystic... Bubble
Posts: 144 | From: Egypt/Europe | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by ExptinCAI: bubbles, you're very sweet but if you read through the previous posts, you will notice mystic sought people in a similar situation to hers and made friends with those posters and together with some kind hearted folk on ES, she received lots and lots of blind encouragement and support. She also received some harsh posts to shake and wake her.
She's made bad decisions and now she's getting support to the tune of...at least you found out now.
WTF. Seriously. She found out before she married him about his character and she still married him.
I applaud you for your efforts and I criticize people who know her in real life for NOT dragging this woman's behind to a professional counselor.
Those poor kids are going to be so screwed up!
I was one of the ones who got accused as being too hard on MH when she first announced getting married. I agree that her true friends are guilty of encouraging her to "follow her heart" & marrying this guy.
Given that, no benefit for me to say "I told you so" because the writing was on the wall over a year ago. His picture alone screams "PLAYER" all over it.
Now with that said, I'm glad to hear she's not collapsed on the floor somewhere and at least is angry. I still think professional help is needed and as I've mentioned already in this thread, her kids are affected by all this drama even if she thinks she's fooling them. Take it from one who can speak from personal experience.
Posts: 370 | From: Other side of reality | Registered: Dec 2006
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This woman is not on ES that i am aware of. Though I know he has seen this thread as of a few days ago and i am sure he is watching it so with her sitting around , unless he is checking it when he is "away" from her, she is seeing it as well. How exactly they met i am uncertain of, I do know her brother is now his flatmate. She is american, and a student..lives in seattle washington well is from there anyway. Her phone number is a seattle number, she was in california when he arranged her tickets to come, which was part of his lies to me, i watched him do it, he said it was a favor for a friend.
Anyway, she can have him. He proved to be a very good liar and that is exactly what he is doing to her, He was not a good husband once i discovered some of the hidden things and he will never be. Yes his family and mom knew we are married.
I apologise if I say something you already know, buuuut - as someone with 8 years experience of living in Egypt, I can only tell you that sadly the numbers of scam artists specialising in the 'looove'-thing with unsuspecting foreigners are astonishingly HUGE, there are literally thousands of women so conned each year. FACT.
It is not out of the ordinary at all for a guy to accept a marriage / visa / invitation / sponsorship, go to different country and then hit the underground, oftentimes never even arriving with the lady - and when a woman finds out about such LIKELY intentions, I think she is entitled to feel betrayed and treated like fool and so STOP what there still is to stop...
ALSO, should such a scammer enter on a sponsorship so obtained, THE SPONSOR is legally responsible for any and all costs incurred by him - let's say medical bills, hospital, jail for being illegal before repatriation (once caught) AND repatration on normal scheduled expensive flight, sometimes even in company of (to be paid) officials. That is THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS, even tens of thousands, you are potentially looking at, so OF COURSE and MOST SPEEDILY Mystic needs to do all she can to protect HERSELF...
Be good, best wishes, Bubble
PS. Visa fraud and entry on fraudulently obtained visa IS a crime.
Posts: 144 | From: Egypt/Europe | Registered: Nov 2006
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What i dont understand if his mum knew you was married surely she would have seen at one point he was going to live in America hopefully has not happend ,so if he so concerned of leaving his mommy then how come he went ahead to marry you . And im seen from links he was going to live in china and cyprus did she make a fuss then or was that a scam to get women too .
Posts: 220 | From: Little Egypt in Rural England | Registered: Feb 2008
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Ooooh, dear Mrs... BUT NATURALLY all of that nonsense (bet you he's not been to a Chinese, let alone China... Think he's a millionaire?!?! How would he have gone and got that visa???) was a scam for introductions, and the Mommy story suuuuuuch old crap heard millions of times...
Posts: 144 | From: Egypt/Europe | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by mysticheart: More than I will ever get for sure. One day he will look back and regret what he did to me more than he already does. He will see that he should have never let me go and that no one will ever be as good to him as i was.
"He will regret, he will regret..."
Again this is normal that you feel this way. With time you WILL become completely indifferent and you won't give a damn what this guy is doing, where and with whom. He is not worth you. Full stop. I've been 'there' too, so to say.
Posts: 2807 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Bubblesperson: Dear Mrs!!!
PS. Visa fraud and entry on fraudulently obtained visa IS a crime.
Of course I know this Bubble, I do think she should stop the processes, I was referring to the remark that he should never enter the country again etc etc. I do know that many men marry for visas etc, but no one knows whether he has/was doing this, he may just have changed his mind, after all, if he had married for a visa surely he wouldn't have called it off?? he would have waited until he was in America.
Anyway, I dont know, I dont know him or her, but I dont think its healthy for Mystic to feel used either. He may have just simply changed his mind.
I just hope now that Mystic can be happy and get over all of this ASAP Posts: 918 | From: Earth | Registered: Jan 2008
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Surely if he had taken visa, then the authorities would check his place of residence. My friend married a Polish girl a long time ago, before Poland was in EU and the authorities came to their home to check they were actually living together as man and wife, the usual things, clothes in wardrobe, photos, 2 toothbrushes etc!
Posts: 4476 | From: Scotland | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by young at heart: Surely if he had taken visa, then the authorities would check his place of residence. My friend married a Polish girl a long time ago, before Poland was in EU and the authorities came to their home to check they were actually living together as man and wife, the usual things, clothes in wardrobe, photos, 2 toothbrushes etc!
Correct. I know even certain 'examples' in person.
Posts: 2807 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007
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Not always the case. No one ever checked my husband's place of residence prior to or after he received his visa.
quote:Originally posted by young at heart: Surely if he had taken visa, then the authorities would check his place of residence. My friend married a Polish girl a long time ago, before Poland was in EU and the authorities came to their home to check they were actually living together as man and wife, the usual things, clothes in wardrobe, photos, 2 toothbrushes etc!
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Yes Makbeta, I thought so. I know this was UK and not America, but I would think checks would be made.I think it was about 14 years ago. Can't believe they've been married all that time!
Posts: 4476 | From: Scotland | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by CheezyPoof: Not always the case. No one ever checked my husband's place of residence prior to or after he received his visa.
quote:Originally posted by young at heart: Surely if he had taken visa, then the authorities would check his place of residence. My friend married a Polish girl a long time ago, before Poland was in EU and the authorities came to their home to check they were actually living together as man and wife, the usual things, clothes in wardrobe, photos, 2 toothbrushes etc!
In Britain it was commonplace though. There were a lot of 'paper marriages' so the authorities checked on the newly-weds just to make sure it was not another case of visa fraud. Sad but true. Posts: 2807 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007
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We don't know that he 'called it off'. This is what he SAID, but it needs confirmation.
The place of residence can only be checked AFTER the supposed day of travel / entry. IF he does not arrive at the place of residence, since a) he did not tell sponsor he is coming (called off ALL, right), and b) went underground right away (perhaps straight to new friend??), then all that will happen is that authorities and sponsor now know he's a conman, but he's still in - and sponsor in trouble...
Also, DO read Doodle's informative post on what happens upon entry.
All of this is currently speculation, yes, but still falls under 'very necessary damage limitation control'.
Posts: 144 | From: Egypt/Europe | Registered: Nov 2006
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Sorry Mrs i disagree, This 'man' is a low life to do this. I haven't been here that long and did not know of the troubles MH had had in her past and in how/why/what/where did she meet this guy until reading these past posts and getting an idea of what was the background to it all. He needs to be stopped as the others have said she will be responsable for him, this 'man' has no scruples or heart, it was ALL about him and him only. This is the ty pe of 'man' who will carry on and on and on.
Report him i say MH! He will at least be on the blacklist!
It is good to be angry MH but don't waste anymore money (on calling him) just leave him be. He will get his just desserts one day i am sure
I wish you all the best, your not the first most certainly not the last...... live and learn.....live and learn
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How do you know his mother knew you were his wife if you never lived here? Just from visiting? Does she speak English? Did you sleep in the same bed together under her roof?
I guess I don't blame you for being angry that as of this moment he is playing house with some other girl- but stop thinking you are the best he would have ever gotten...why are you still thinking that? Sounds like what this sort of man needs is a tough Egyptian woman who is going to kick his *** into shape...sorry to say. You were simply not that woman, call it fate (or luck!). Makes you wonder if there wasn't another woman while you were there with him, too. Yuk! Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by mysticheart: More than I will ever get for sure. One day he will look back and regret what he did to me more than he already does. He will see that he should have never let me go and that no one will ever be as good to him as i was.
I know you would like to think that, but sadly that is not true. Many women say these exact words to make themselves feel better. Bottom Dwellers never feel regret for their behavior. They suck the life out of one victim and move on to the next with no remorse or regret whatsoever. You have to care about someone to have regrets and he doesnt have it in him. Men like this play on woman and are able to con them because they seek out emotionally damaged women,women with little to no self esteem. They rip through them and move on to the next without one bit of remorse. Why?? Because women like you allow them to thats why!!! Men only respect women who respect themselves. Men only Love women who love themselves, Bottom line.
Im gonna tell you for the last time-quit putting your whole life out there for sympathy and false validation. Go get therapy! I can guarantee with every penny I have until you learn you are important, you are strong and you are worth more than this sad existance that you have put yourself in that you will continue with the same kind of relationships. Healthy relationships are formed by Healthy people who love themselves. That is how to succeed and find real happiness and a quality man.
Oh yeah, one more thing. You may think Im saying this out of harshness as you have in the past but Im telling you because you really need people to be straight up with you, not absolve you. You may have had a bad hand growing up, I dont doubt it because of your patterns with men and your so obvious lack of self esteem and for that You do have my sympathy.That is the only sympathy I am going to give you. YOU are an adult woman and you have to take responsibilty to change/fix what is wrong inside of you. You cannot go through life playing the victim,it only holds for so long. This isnt the right way to live life mystic, if you are strong enough to constantly survive being beaten down then you are strong enough to get REAL help so you can have a normal life.
I believe you are that strong so face your weaknesses and turn them into strengths. Break the pattern and be an example for your daughter so she will never fall victim to a low-life scum-sucking bottom dweller!!Do not listen to fake sympathy, christ that is the worst thing you can do..Good luck!!! Posts: 1121 | From: Too crazy to look at a freakin map to find out.. | Registered: Sep 2006
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< she was in california when he arranged her tickets to come>
Mystic...does this mean he bought her flight tickets and not yours????? Posts: 3833 | From: here,there,everywhere | Registered: Nov 2007
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quote:Originally posted by mysticheart: More than I will ever get for sure. One day he will look back and regret what he did to me more than he already does. He will see that he should have never let me go and that no one will ever be as good to him as i was.
I know you would like to think that, but sadly that is not true. Many women say these exact words to make themselves feel better. Bottom Dwellers never feel regret for their behavior. They suck the life out of one victim and move on to the next with no remorse or regret whatsoever. You have to care about someone to have regrets and he doesnt have it in him. Men like this play on woman and are able to con them because they seek out emotionally damaged women,women with little to no self esteem. They rip through them and move on to the next without one bit of remorse. Why?? Because women like you allow them to thats why!!! Men only respect women who respect themselves. Men only Love women who love themselves, Bottom line.
(...)
I believe you are that strong so face your weaknesses and turn them into strengths. Break the pattern and be an example for your daughter so she will never fall victim to a low-life scum-sucking bottom dweller!!Do not listen to fake sympathy, christ that is the worst thing you can do..Good luck!!!
True. True. True.
Now BREAK the pattern so that your child/children won't 'copy' you in the future, which they might do subconsciously.
They say that children of alcoholics often become alcoholics themselves. Children who were beaten by parents often resort to corporal punishment themselves when they are adults. The chain must be broken. And the first step is to realise and admit that there is something wrong with ... ME.
There's no reason to be too harsh on yourself though. Vice versa. Learn to love yourself more - now.
Posts: 2807 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007
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UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
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Maybe I can take a tour with him and then <bam!>. . .let him have a piece of my mind in front of everyone. Wow. . .that's a thought. . .hey, Momen. . .if you're reading this, be aware that you just never know when one of the people on one of your tours is going to go mental on you. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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