posted
That's weird how old people fall asleep all the time and they really don't need the sleep because they don't do anything. Meanwhile, the young people never get any sleep and they really need it caz they do so so so much physical work and mental work. Hmmm....
Posts: 1161 | From: wo xiang xiao bian ji si le | Registered: Oct 2005
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that's is life natural as the god sayed that : we create you a baby walk on 4 , and young walk on 2 feet then get you as begen ( when get old ). It's mean the old people return again to be like kids : rest more ,love to eat much and sleep as a kids
Posts: 88 | From: cairo | Registered: Feb 2007
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quote:Originally posted by With a name like Smuckers:
quote:Originally posted by amrssnowangel: Odd, I've had nothing but good things said here in my area and from upstanding Muslims who wish me luck. Maybe it depends on the company kept. Anyways, Im well aware of the cultural differences that we have and will face. Just what is it you know that I don't know? Some of the advice here you can plainly see was meant with the best of intentions...some is down right accusatory and belittling. However, Im happy and no one can change that. Just which cultural differences do you THINK Im not getting???
The age difference issue. As far as the people who gave you all positive feed-back there are three possibilities:
*the people are lying to you because they don't know you well
*you are lying and they never gave you positive feed-back
*the people you asked don't want to tell you the truth, possibly friends of yours and are trying to sugar-coat it
I don't mean to be so harsh but I'm telling you what I know as an American married to an Egyptian living in Egypt and being surrounded by the culture. You're making a huge mistake, don't do this.
You forgot to mention her that this people are usually sooo polite they don't want to hurt you by telling the truth. Posts: 1339 | From: Om Leito | Registered: Aug 2006
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Well, I have 8 children yes and yes I have income. I am part owner of a business with my fiance. I only have 4 in the home at this time. I have covered all of this people. I know the figures and amounts. My fiance and I have discussed all that you have mentioned. Indeed we did long before I found this forum. The things you say I already had talked about. There was no shock or fear or dismay. He has been very honest and what you say verifies it.
Instead of bursting bubbles you have helped inflate them. Thanks
Posts: 156 | From: USA | Registered: May 2007
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posted
As for falling asleep in the cinema I do not watch tv either. I was raised reading all the time. We had TV but to me it was boring. I seldom watch TV and very few movies. Give me a book any day. I did watch all of Spiderman III and the third Pirates movie (I always wanted to be a pirate... now I have opened the door for you to say something not so kind hahaha.)
Laugh and the world laughs with you (unless it is this forum)
Posts: 156 | From: USA | Registered: May 2007
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What in the hell is up everyone's ass these days??? Hey snowangel, do ur thing girl, and be happy!!! Whatever the outcome may be, God bless you!!!
Posts: 100 | From: USA | Registered: Nov 2005
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I wonder out of all these counsellors who are giving out all this free advice. How many actually have the experience of marrying a younger man? You know you give all this advice but have you all been through it yourselves? OR are you giving your advice based on the ramblings of a website.
I mean if you had all experienced it and failed then I see your point,and she can see where your coming from, so lets see hands here.........how many of you actually married a much younger Egyptian guy?
Posts: 586 | From: Styx | Registered: Dec 2006
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Ah, Great Barreer Reef, don`t you think this is kind of nonsence? What about the professional counsellors/coaches, you also think they can`t advice you because they were not in the same situation? Giving good advices is a speciality, based on empathy,(communication) skills, and life expierence. Even people who have been in the same situation don`t necesarrely have to be good advicors, it depend on the way they look back on what happened, and what they did with this expierence.(mentally) Every heavy expierence in life has to be processed in a way that different views on the same subject are possible. The sense to relativate, to be aware that there is not one person to blame, but that they also have made mistakes themselves.When it became a learning-expierence and considered to view in a positive way, because it has made them a stronger person. It`s not only in relationships but in all problems that can occure...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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To give advice out of ones personal experience only would limit you so much. Much of the advice comes because we have heard these stories soooooooooooooooo many times on ES. Living in Luxor I also hear many many other stories and meet the broken hearted women. It is only e hearing many stories that you can make a valid judgement.
One swallow does not a summer make
-------------------- Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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It is a quote from Aristotle meaning that summer has not arrived just because you have seen one swallow. Swallows are migrational birds who come to certain countries for certain seasons. You can look it up on Goggle
-------------------- Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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quote:Originally posted by akshar: It is a quote from Aristotle meaning that summer has not arrived just because you have seen one swallow. Swallows are migrational birds who come to certain countries for certain seasons. You can look it up on Goggle
posted
Personally I like "one swallow does not a summer make". It fits no matter how you look at it. If you are so gullible to believe all that you "hear" and "read" then you are in serious trouble. And if you need a bird to confirm it is summer, oh my, you do have a problem!!! On the other hand if you are so stone headed that you can not listen to others you will swallow your pride, wallet and find great loss.
It takes more muscles to smile than frown. I am racking up wrinkles like crazy. Posts: 156 | From: USA | Registered: May 2007
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quote:Originally posted by ?????: Ah, Great Barreer Reef, don`t you think this is kind of nonsence? What about the professional counsellors/coaches, you also think they can`t advice you because they were not in the same situation? Giving good advices is a speciality, based on empathy,(communication) skills, and life expierence. Even people who have been in the same situation don`t necesarrely have to be good advicors, it depend on the way they look back on what happened, and what they did with this expierence.(mentally) Every heavy expierence in life has to be processed in a way that different views on the same subject are possible. The sense to relativate, to be aware that there is not one person to blame, but that they also have made mistakes themselves.When it became a learning-expierence and considered to view in a positive way, because it has made them a stronger person. It`s not only in relationships but in all problems that can occure...
well the thing is these trained counsellors will have had training not like the members here. I don't doubt Akshar has met plenty women in this situation, I am sure there are plenty who's marriages failed, but does she know how many survived? NO!! I am sure that plenty do. They just don't post here. They have no misery to share. Amrsangel was one who made that mistake, she wanted to share a good feeling, but that is not why many members here log on is it. They would rather share in someones misery, than their happiness, and that is sad.
Someone asked if they would like their own son to marry a much older woman. Well to tell you the truth if it made my son happy then that is just fine by me. To have Demi Moore as a daughter in law would be no big hardship.
Posts: 586 | From: Styx | Registered: Dec 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Récif corallien: I don't doubt Akshar has met plenty women in this situation, I am sure there are plenty who's marriages failed, but does she know how many survived? NO!!
Well yes actually I do because I actually live here in Luxor and anyone that has lived here knows you know everything about every Western women in the place. I swear to God that if I went into my flat, closed the door, went into my bathroom, closed the door, went into the shower cubicle and sneezed; everyone would ask me about my cold next day. there is no way anyone can keep their life private in Luxor.
So yes I can tell you the marriages that are success and the ones that are a failure. Anyone that lives here could do the same.
Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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Mr/Mrs French coral Reef, you seem to have a vested interest in ensuring that women here should be allowed to live in cloud cuckoo land, whether it is in the unlikely event of a VISA application being granted or a sucessful marriage that goes against every cultural norm of a nation. Is that because you yourself have survived in such a situation and therefore have first hand knowledge that these marriages do work and that the governments are oh so happy to be handing out VISAS to these ladies. What exactly is your qualification to say nobody here has enough real life experience to advise, have you lived in Egypt? do you know the culture? have you gone through a VISA application that has actually be grated with a man young enough to be your son. Do you have a son to know how it would feel if he bought home a woman old enough to be his mother and claim he wants to marry her?
Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Récif corallien: I don't doubt Akshar has met plenty women in this situation, I am sure there are plenty who's marriages failed, but does she know how many survived? NO!! I am sure that plenty do. They just don't post here. They have no misery to share. Amrsangel was one who made that mistake, she wanted to share a good feeling, but that is not why many members here log on is it. They would rather share in someones misery, than their happiness, and that is sad. .....To have Demi Moore as a daughter in law would be no big hardship. [/QB]
Actually, a lot of people who don't have misery to share, who are in successful relationships post on here. They're the ladies warning the newbies of the danger signs and the culture and for their effort, they're being called negative, wishing someone unhappiness, etc.
And as far as the Demi Moore comment, of course it wouldn't be a hardship to have a successful, rich, famous, 40 something movie star (that thanks to plastic surgery has the body of a 20 year old) be the love interest to your 25 year old. But how is that relative? Or are you saying that's the false build up he's given his poor family about this middle aged lady from a small american town with eight children? Maybe to them she is just that. She's already set up a bsn for him, after all.
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
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I'm sooooo doubting any of the ES cradle robbers resemble Demi Moore in any way, shape or form.
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by ?????: Ah, Great Barreer Reef, don`t you think this is kind of nonsence? What about the professional counsellors/coaches, you also think they can`t advice you because they were not in the same situation? Giving good advices is a speciality, based on empathy,(communication) skills, and life expierence. Even people who have been in the same situation don`t necesarrely have to be good advicors, it depend on the way they look back on what happened, and what they did with this expierence.(mentally) Every heavy expierence in life has to be processed in a way that different views on the same subject are possible. The sense to relativate, to be aware that there is not one person to blame, but that they also have made mistakes themselves.When it became a learning-expierence and considered to view in a positive way, because it has made them a stronger person. It`s not only in relationships but in all problems that can occure...
well the thing is these trained counsellors will have had training not like the members here. I don't doubt Akshar has met plenty women in this situation, I am sure there are plenty who's marriages failed, but does she know how many survived? NO!! I am sure that plenty do. They just don't post here. They have no misery to share. Amrsangel was one who made that mistake, she wanted to share a good feeling, but that is not why many members here log on is it. They would rather share in someones misery, than their happiness, and that is sad.
Someone asked if they would like their own son to marry a much older woman. Well to tell you the truth if it made my son happy then that is just fine by me. To have Demi Moore as a daughter in law would be no big hardship.
First, you don`t know anything about age, occupation and expierence from the members here.Only what they`ve made public, nothing more. What if members are indeed professionals ? Second,living in a touristic area like Akshar does, is ALSO giving a very limited view on Egyptian society, just like living in only one particular level does. You really ONLY can give a GLOBAL indication when you`ve lived in the different levels of an society.For the rest it`s a mix of personal habits and characteristics. Third, If I tell you that I`ve told some expierences to Egyptians who in first instance didn`t believe me? Because they didn`t had any idea how life is going in some particular area`s, would you believe me? Even numbers of Egyptians can`t give opinions about all, because it simply is to far from their beds! Fourth,The only thing you really can rely on is scientific research. Numbers, statistics, lists, tables. They speak for their own.
In my case my husband is not Egyptian, but by circumstances I`ve seen and expierenced a lot.And because I am there 3 or 4 times a year, I still see and hear a lot. There have been a lot of questionmarks to me, also because it was all rather eceptional. It intrigued me, and wanted to find the !`s after the ?`s.
Right now I have a lot of !`s, and have learned a lot by age, occupation and expierences.
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Penny: Mr/Mrs French coral Reef, you seem to have a vested interest in ensuring that women here should be allowed to live in cloud cuckoo land, whether it is in the unlikely event of a VISA application being granted or a sucessful marriage that goes against every cultural norm of a nation. Is that because you yourself have survived in such a situation and therefore have first hand knowledge that these marriages do work and that the governments are oh so happy to be handing out VISAS to these ladies. What exactly is your qualification to say nobody here has enough real life experience to advise, have you lived in Egypt? do you know the culture? have you gone through a VISA application that has actually be grated with a man young enough to be your son. Do you have a son to know how it would feel if he bought home a woman old enough to be his mother and claim he wants to marry her?
It's Mr I have both Mauritian and British nationality. My wife is European. We live between Egypt where my business interests are and UK and USA. I have no problem getting visa for both Egypt and USA. I have 2 children one of each and as I said if any of them married someone older as long as it made them happy it would make me happy. I am not qualified enough to say it won't work out.
I have no experience of Egyptian gigolo's but I do know enough that men are like that the world over. I travel extensively and meet all kinds believe me.
After reading some of the stuff here it makes me wonder just how many of you here were married to younger gigolo's, and it failed.
Akshar you missed my point. I was not talking about you're neighbours or co wife, I was asking about all the other, successful marriages who live abroad not in Egypt and are not members here. Egyptians who have visa's and live quite happily with their wives in europe and beyond. You cannot possibly know that, only the ones you meet in Luxor who did not get a visa to the wives country, and the anonymous members here who you never met in real life. like the unlikely new poster My mother was seduced!!! haha Now who wrote that one? come on hands up..
Also if your walls are that paper thin don't you think it's time to move? I would Posts: 586 | From: Styx | Registered: Dec 2006
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Mr Corralien. You speak sense as far as I am concerened, theres to much melodrama about this. Interesting that worried son came on when these threads were going on. Then only reappeared when some one mentioned it was fake.
Posts: 4476 | From: Scotland | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
Well I have no clue where to start commenting. I can say that some of the comments made here and advice is good....its the negativity that is bothering me. Who says this relationship WONT work? And who is anyone here to judge my ability to determine wheather the man Im with is suitable for me? Im not stupid. I understand the risks involved. I understand that there are MANY MANY younger egyptian men looking to get out of Egypt and would marry anyone for that chance of Visa. BUT....not ALL would USE a woman JSUT for her VISA. These comments are very racial. Think of it. Think of the generalizations here that we've read. "Younger egytian men would ONLY marry older woman for visa"....wow, a huge generalization. Far more fair to say, a lot do. And then hope that I am smart enough to KNOW the DIFFERENCE. My guy has never asked for money. Never gotten out of line wiht me and never raced into a marriage proposal. I could see if after a week or two or month or two, he proposed, wanted to file immediate visa, informed his family then they just instantly fell in love with me and took me in without a thought...those are HUGE warning signs. Im proud of the fact my guy and I didn't rush to tell his family and that we were nervous about it...to me it means his family isn't pushing him to marry for visa and money. And you know...i know a man there in Egypt engaged to a WOMAN...the engagement was broken...why?? because SHE inherited a great deal of money with a cousin and they decided to marry to combine the inheritance. So its NOT just the men and its NOT just men with foreigners. The women there can be money hungry...and marry for wrong reasons even in their OWN country. BUT not all are like that. At least I can understand this concept. We all take a risk when we make a marriage vow. I know of american woman who married a man. Then years later found out he was gay when he ran off with his best friend. How is anyone to know the future???? We ALL face the possibility of failure in ANY marriage. I for one...won't pass up the chance to be with a warm, wonderful, GENTLE man. I won't give up happiness regardless of age, culture or religion. (hmm sort of sounds like discrimination to me to actually not want to be with someone simply because of age, race or religion...isn't there laws here to protect workers for that?? How much less valued is a loved one than a worker???) WEll that was my rant..im sure I'll face many more posts from the negative ones..but would love to hear from more positivly charged members too.......
Posts: 100 | From: Fredericksburg, VA, USA | Registered: Feb 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Récif corallien: It's Mr I have both Mauritian and British nationality. My wife is European. We live between Egypt where my business interests are and UK and USA. I have no problem getting visa for both Egypt and USA. I have 2 children one of each and as I said if any of them married someone older as long as it made them happy it would make me happy. I am not qualified enough to say it won't work out.
I have no experience of Egyptian gigolo's but I do know enough that men are like that the world over. I travel extensively and meet all kinds believe me.
After reading some of the stuff here it makes me wonder just how many of you here were married to younger gigolo's, and it failed.
Akshar you missed my point. I was not talking about you're neighbours or co wife, I was asking about all the other, successful marriages who live abroad not in Egypt and are not members here. Egyptians who have visa's and live quite happily with their wives in europe and beyond. You cannot possibly know that, only the ones you meet in Luxor who did not get a visa to the wives country, and the anonymous members here who you never met in real life. like the unlikely new poster My mother was seduced!!! haha Now who wrote that one? come on hands up..
Also if your walls are that paper thin don't you think it's time to move? I would
I agree you are not qualified I agree you have no experience
So why the heck are you telling other people what to do?
And you missed the point; Luxor gossip is not limited to people resident in Luxor. Everyone from Luxor is talked about no matter whether he is in the country or not. Every family that has a son abroad tells exactly what he is thinking and feeling about the relationship with his wife and living aboard. Luxor is like that.
BTW that was a humorous analogy to show the level of gossip here, you may have British nationality but you haven’t got a British sense of humour.
Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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quote:Originally posted by amrssnowangel: Well I have no clue where to start commenting. I can say that some of the comments made here and advice is good....its the negativity that is bothering me. Who says this relationship WONT work? And who is anyone here to judge my ability to determine wheather the man Im with is suitable for me? Im not stupid. I understand the risks involved. I understand that there are MANY MANY younger egyptian men looking to get out of Egypt and would marry anyone for that chance of Visa. BUT....not ALL would USE a woman JSUT for her VISA. These comments are very racial. Think of it. Think of the generalizations here that we've read. "Younger egytian men would ONLY marry older woman for visa"....wow, a huge generalization. Far more fair to say, a lot do. And then hope that I am smart enough to KNOW the DIFFERENCE. My guy has never asked for money. Never gotten out of line wiht me and never raced into a marriage proposal. I could see if after a week or two or month or two, he proposed, wanted to file immediate visa, informed his family then they just instantly fell in love with me and took me in without a thought...those are HUGE warning signs. Im proud of the fact my guy and I didn't rush to tell his family and that we were nervous about it...to me it means his family isn't pushing him to marry for visa and money. And you know...i know a man there in Egypt engaged to a WOMAN...the engagement was broken...why?? because SHE inherited a great deal of money with a cousin and they decided to marry to combine the inheritance. So its NOT just the men and its NOT just men with foreigners. The women there can be money hungry...and marry for wrong reasons even in their OWN country. BUT not all are like that. At least I can understand this concept. We all take a risk when we make a marriage vow. I know of american woman who married a man. Then years later found out he was gay when he ran off with his best friend. How is anyone to know the future???? We ALL face the possibility of failure in ANY marriage. I for one...won't pass up the chance to be with a warm, wonderful, GENTLE man. I won't give up happiness regardless of age, culture or religion. (hmm sort of sounds like discrimination to me to actually not want to be with someone simply because of age, race or religion...isn't there laws here to protect workers for that?? How much less valued is a loved one than a worker???) WEll that was my rant..im sure I'll face many more posts from the negative ones..but would love to hear from more positivly charged members too.......
I'm sure you're going to do what you seem so strong in your heart to accomplish, but when he gets there and finds raising 8 children that are not his own and dealing with their boyfriends and girlfriends, school work, temper tantrums, sassy teenage attitudes and to top it off none belong to him, please come back and let us know if he left a note before he left or if you just saw skid marks.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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LOL...I don't have 8 kids...but I have to admire Shahrzaad...let me tell you...not all can have their own and find it in their heart to adopt more. THAT takes a special person...so hats off to Shahrzaad for her dedication, love and loyalty in raising kids that are not biologically hers. She has a great heart.
Posts: 100 | From: Fredericksburg, VA, USA | Registered: Feb 2005
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posted
thank you amrssnowangel. I am not sure about the great heart, maybe I am the brainless one here. Not all are at home. I have been a foster parent so you fall in love with children. I fell in love with five of them at five different times. Some are older than my own and four have left the "nest". The rest are good girls and love my fiance. He talks to them by phone and on the internet (nope NOT hot web cam but we do have a web cam where we can share if the cafe is not busy) None of you have walked in my shoes. I am telling you that no matter what life will go on. I am proof of it.
Posts: 156 | From: USA | Registered: May 2007
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I forgot to mention that I know talking on the web is not the same as dealing with daily issues. And since for privacy reasons I can not say more about the girls or circumstances involving them, my fiance knows already the huge chore and we have laid ground rules (last fall we did that). He currently is a strong male figure that tells them to behave period. He backs many of my decisions and the girls have learned to respect his voice of authority.
Please remember we are not "kids". There is nothing you have said we have not covered before. He is an honest sincere man and I am an honest sincere woman. I don't expect anyone to believe me. That is ok.
In the end it is God who will judge all of us. I do not need to judge anyone.. it is not my job.
Posts: 156 | From: USA | Registered: May 2007
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Akshar, please point to where I tell anyone what to do.
My point was
were all the advisors here advising because they had the experience?? Had they married gigolo's so had the experience or were you just like me, no experience just going on what you hear in shower cubicles, etc ( big British smiley)
NO ONE can predict how a marriage will turn out.
You must have a great sense of humour to allow your husband to sleep with another woman and to father her children.
Should your daughter ever move to Europe how will she explain that one to her friends? How does she explain that one if she invites them home to visit mom and her extended family?
What if she settles in Europe and marries an American? How will the inlaws judge you, when they come to visit.
Or are you immune to judgement?
Posts: 586 | From: Styx | Registered: Dec 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Récif corallien: Should your daughter ever move to Europe how will she explain that one to her friends? How does she explain that one if she invites them home to visit mom and her extended family?
How do people explain when they have gay parents? You just do. If someone judges a child by the actions of his parents, that's a small-minded person indeed.
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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In the end it is God who will judge all of us. I do not need to judge anyone.. it is not my job. [/QB]
None of this is about judging you or anyone else - it's just a case of people giving their views based on their own personal experiences or things they have learnt from others.
You are obviously happy in your relationship and that's the main thing. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone here - everyone's different and just because what's good for you isn't for others doesn't make either side wrong!!
You're clearly a dedicated mother and you're wise enough not to jeopordise their emotional stability, so go live your life! Posts: 69 | From: Warwickshire - UK | Registered: May 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Snoozin - Bokra Fil Mish Mish:
quote:Originally posted by Récif corallien: Should your daughter ever move to Europe how will she explain that one to her friends? How does she explain that one if she invites them home to visit mom and her extended family?
How do people explain when they have gay parents? You just do. If someone judges a child by the actions of his parents, that's a small-minded person indeed.
exactly.
so for people here to judge a person , who they have never met and assume she is old, ugly and fat, stupid and not living in the real world is, just because she is marrying an egyptian younger than her is, equally small minded.
Akshar bangs on about how different the cultures are. So equally I was just demonstrating how European culture may view her chosen arrangements.
Just as you imagine all Egyptian young guys might be ashamed of their older wives, maybe her daughter would be ashamed to tell people her mother is a second wife if she went to another culture. What if she wants to invite new friends to her Egyptian home to meet the parents.
So it works both ways doesn't it.
I wonder what advice you would give her daughter? Would it be as harsh as tha comments you read on this site?
I doubt it.
This is not a personal attack on you by the way. Your replies are usually very balanced.
Posts: 586 | From: Styx | Registered: Dec 2006
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Well there you are wrong again, we have a constant stream of tourists through our lives and without exception people have been supportive of my choice.
Look Récif corallien so far most everything you have said has been incorrect. When I give advice it is from a position of knowledge I know lots of Western/Egyptian marriage personally and I have seen lots of relationships on this site and others.
Now i have said my piece and I will bow out and leave you to it, like Penny
-------------------- Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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I have to say a lot of comments on this thread have been harsh and actually personal, which I think is uncalled for. Discussion is what a forum is supposed to be about, not insults. A lot of people have left here because of the attitude of some.
Posts: 4476 | From: Scotland | Registered: Mar 2006
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Im planning on leaving...I came to share what I thought was good news and got negativity and harsh "advice". No offense to anyone but I didn't need advice. I didn't ASK for ADVICE. Then I posted another thread in classified...and you know...THIS followed me there. So If THIS is what this forum is about..I want no part of it.
Posts: 100 | From: Fredericksburg, VA, USA | Registered: Feb 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Snoozin - Bokra Fil Mish Mish:
quote:Originally posted by Récif corallien: Should your daughter ever move to Europe how will she explain that one to her friends? How does she explain that one if she invites them home to visit mom and her extended family?
How do people explain when they have gay parents? You just do. If someone judges a child by the actions of his parents, that's a small-minded person indeed.
exactly.
so for people here to judge a person , who they have never met and assume she is old, ugly and fat, stupid and not living in the real world is, just because she is marrying an egyptian younger than her is, equally small minded.
Akshar bangs on about how different the cultures are. So equally I was just demonstrating how European culture may view her chosen arrangements.
Just as you imagine all Egyptian young guys might be ashamed of their older wives, maybe her daughter would be ashamed to tell people her mother is a second wife if she went to another culture. What if she wants to invite new friends to her Egyptian home to meet the parents.
So it works both ways doesn't it.
I wonder what advice you would give her daughter? Would it be as harsh as tha comments you read on this site?
I doubt it.
This is not a personal attack on you by the way. Your replies are usually very balanced.
Are you really living in Egypt by times? Speaking about narrow minds, I never saw that many narrow minded people, concerned about everything what could be explained in some negative way. What would the family think, what would others think? Gossip and bad talking about almost everybody, jealousy,hypocricy, name it and it`s there. I know numbers of people who are acting and behaving in a totally different way as it is, or, as they are, in real. It was that bad that I thought for a moment that nothing was/nobody was real. Playing games, double faces, and all for the outside world. I know women who are judging other women because their husband married 2nd, 3rd and 4rd wives, while their own husbands has several unofficial wives at the same time, AND THEY KNOW ABOUT IT. And always that pointing finger, he/she is doing bad.... and not strong enough to blame theirselves for their own weaknesses, it`s always the other one who is bad... So, when you`re living in such a society, and you`re marriage is that unequal, you KNOW nobody will accept this. You know they will be friendly in your face, but behind your back they will talk bad about you. When you are able to accept this, and are able to live in such a unreal world, there will be no problems. because nobody will have the guts to tell you the truth right into your face. They will act friendly and polight as ever. Say like it is, say what you think, is very unusual and considered as rude and unpolight. It`s a game. You have to be aware of this.
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
You have a constant stream of "tourist" through your life. Wow! Your comments are based on tourists.
Posts: 156 | From: USA | Registered: May 2007
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quote:Originally posted by amrssnowangel: Im planning on leaving...I came to share what I thought was good news and got negativity and harsh "advice". No offense to anyone but I didn't need advice. I didn't ASK for ADVICE. Then I posted another thread in classified...and you know...THIS followed me there. So If THIS is what this forum is about..I want no part of it.
I don't get this....people come onto this forum, after having read it for over a year, and tell the details of their private life to everyone. They then get shocked when everybody doesn't see the unusual life choices that they are making through the same rose-coloured glasses as they do.
This thread didn’t “follow you” to the other forum, many of us just post on more than one forum, as you do, and if things tie into previous conversations, they are likely to be commented on.
Btw:
quote:Originally posted by amrssnowangel: Just which cultural differences do you THINK Im not getting???
quote:Originally posted by Récif corallien: Just as you imagine all Egyptian young guys might be ashamed of their older wives, maybe her daughter would be ashamed to tell people her mother is a second wife if she went to another culture.
Uh, where exactly did I say that???? I think people need to take into consideration another person's actions within the context of their native culture. Period. Each of us will ultimately choose our own paths. If we choose an unusual path, then I hope we each feel confident enough in that decision to not crumble when people get snippy on a message board.
quote:Originally posted by Récif corallien: I wonder what advice you would give her daughter? Would it be as harsh as tha comments you read on this site?
I doubt it.
There is a *huge* difference between a girl asking advice about what her parents might do/have done, vs. a woman asking advice about her own relationship and her own actions, don't you think?
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
Newcomer, my posting a new thread in a different forum here in ES was not an invitation for more "advice" but a classified looking for alternative accomodations. Your response in THAT thread had NOTHING to do with answering my call for accomodations. Just as THIS thread WASNT asking for advice, but wanting to share good news. I NEVER has for advice about my own relationship Snoozin. I have not read posts on here for over a year. I was a MEMBER but rarely came... READ my original post please, no where was I seeking advice, or complaining that my man was using me, or any of that stuff.
Posts: 100 | From: Fredericksburg, VA, USA | Registered: Feb 2005
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quote:Originally posted by amrssnowangel: I NEVER has for advice about my own relationship Snoozin.
Just for the record, *I* never attacked you, OK?
I'm sorry I wasn't more precise in my wording. My response was to Recif, and should be taken in that context only. She was stating that a daughter of a woman in a polygynous marriage might somehow be ashamed to tell her European friends about her mother's relationship. And Recif was saying (it seems) that *I* personally think a younger Egyptian man should be ashamed of an older wife. I've never said this anywhere, to my knowledge. And therefore, since I don't think the girl should be criticized, I should think twice before criticizing you or him for your choices. But I don't think I ever did.
What I meant in my response to Recif is that these two situations are not analogous, in my view. One is an adult talking about her own choices in life, the other is a child talking about her parents' choices in life.
That's all.
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Snoozin - Bokra Fil Mish Mish:
quote:Originally posted by Récif corallien: Should your daughter ever move to Europe how will she explain that one to her friends? How does she explain that one if she invites them home to visit mom and her extended family?
How do people explain when they have gay parents? You just do. If someone judges a child by the actions of his parents, that's a small-minded person indeed.
Lol, well in egypt everybody is judged by anything except their own actions, you're judged by your brothers/sisters/parents/degree/car/clothes/etc. I find very few here are judged by their individual actions alone. Coming from America, we come from a very individualistic society, here it is exactly backwards to that (although I'm sure you know, from your husband). But I wanted to point this out regard Recif, although he isn't Egyptian is he? Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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